Saturday, April 25, 2015

A to Z Blogging "W is for..."

"...Worst Things to say in Any Situation"
From the Series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, Nebraska Family Times Newspaper

Sometimes we’re tempted to use these phrases because we’re so uncomfortable with a grieving or suffering person’s emotions. Resist the temptation and do not say them! Instead, use one of the phrases on the next page, which will be much more comforting and helpful.

  • “I know just EXACTLY how you feel!” (No, you don't know "exactly" how someone feels...even if the circumstances seem the same, they are not, and people do not react to or feel the same way even in similar circumstances.)
  • “Don’t worry, it will all work out perfectly and everything will be just fine.” (You don't know this and can't promise it.)
  • “Here’s what you need to do . . . “ (You don't know all the details, and even if you do, it's not your place to say what someone "needs" to do.)
  • “It can’t be THAT bad!” (To the person it is happening to, YES it CAN be that bad!)
  • “Get over it! You‘ve felt that way long enough.” (There is no timetable for grief. Grief after a death, divorce, or other life-changing event, will be life-long.)
  • “You’ve grieved enough.” (How do you know what "enough"
  • “You’re not grieving in the ‘right’ way.” (What is the "right" way to grieve??? If you're concerned about how someone is reacting to grief, talk with a professional before confronting them. And do so in a kinder way.)
  • “Don’t feel that way!” (There is no right or wrong way to "feel".)
  • “Don’t say that!” (We say this because we are uncomfortable; it is a blessing to allow someone to share all of their thoughts and have them be accepted by the listener without judgement.)
  • “Don’t cry!” (Again, we say this because we are uncomfortable seeing someone grieve. Push aside your own discomfort and give the person the blessing of letting her cry without judgement.) 

Click here for the The Best Things to Say in Any Situation
The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 
where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”