tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14369291959651533522024-03-05T02:25:48.252-08:00NebraskaFamilyTimesThe monthly newspaper "To inspire, encourage, and motivate you in your Christian walk."Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.comBlogger396125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-42015901414053274292016-01-16T17:25:00.001-08:002016-01-16T17:25:40.749-08:00Changes ... Farewell Letter <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Dear Nebraska Family Times readers, sponsors and
advertisers: <o:p></o:p></div>
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The last few months have been full of changes for me! In
August I began a full-time nursing job, for Angels Care Home Health company in
Columbus. I love my job! It’s different every single day and has taught me to
be flexible—many days my carefully planned schedule to see my patients changes…by
the time I see my first patient! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Over Thanksgiving weekend I moved to the house my
future-husband and I were buying…on December 5<sup>th</sup> we got married and
I became stepmom to Danielle and Ryan and Cassy (Danielle, 27, lives in Omaha…Ryan
is 12 and Cassy is 16 and they live with us full-time)…and on December 7<sup>th</sup>
Sam, Cassy and Ryan moved into our home too! On January 4<sup>th</sup> we
signed a big pile of papers and became homeowners! <o:p></o:p></div>
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During these last few months I’ve sometimes felt overwhelmed
with my new responsibilities as an employee, then wife and stepmom and
homeowner. I’d been considering the option of selling the “Nebraska Family Times”
for several months, and one afternoon I got a strong urge to e-mail Becky
Uehling. Becky had written for the NFT, has a background in journalism and had
expressed an interested over the years in taking over the “Nebraska Family Times”
or becoming a co-owner, and in considering all of my options I decided to see
if she was still interested. She replied almost immediately! I could almost
feel her excitement through the computer—my message had arrived on the very day
that changes in her life made it the perfect time to take over the NFT! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Things have moved very quickly since then, and Becky is now
working on the February issue of the NFT. I’m in the process of getting her all
of the lists I’ve made and kept over the years and sharing all of my hints for
publishing the NFT, and I’ll be answering her questions and helping her in
every way I can, for as long as she would like me to! Becky and I met several
weeks ago and I could immediately sense her passion for publishing a Christian
newspaper that will inspire Nebraska readers! I know she’s going to do a great
job as editor and publisher of the NFT, and she’ll have the time and expertise
to do many things I haven’t had the time to do, in spreading the paper
state-wide. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This is a bittersweet time for me; I published the NFT for a
little more than 8 years. Doing so was a mission from God and I grew stronger
in my faith through doing it, as well as meeting and working with many
wonderful people! I’m so thankful for everyone who has been a part of the paper.
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In the past year I’ve been amazed many times at how, with
God’s hand, things have come together for us—from Sam and I meeting again and
building our relationship, to my getting my new job, to us getting approved for
a home loan and putting together a wedding in barely a month and the perfect
timing in my decision to sell the paper and Becky being ready to take over. <br />
<br />And we were reminded of His amazing timing once again this week, when Sam and I
unexpectedly became foster parents to three siblings age 8, 10, and 12, whose
parents cannot care for them at this time. I’m so thankful that the NFT will
continue…and we can concentrate on our new mission, our growing family! <o:p></o:p></div>
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I pray that the NFT will continue to grow and be a blessing
to readers! Please welcome Becky as the new Editor and Publisher, and THANK YOU
all for being a part of the NFT. God’s blessings to you all! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Shelly </div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-79081828993674187512015-11-19T18:14:00.000-08:002015-11-19T18:14:48.290-08:00All Circumstances, Lord? ALL Circumstances? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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All Circumstances, Lord? <i>ALL
Circumstances?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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By Shelly Burke, Editor<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Give thanks in all
circumstances. </i>1 Thessalonians
5:18<o:p></o:p></div>
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About 10 years ago my kids and I and my sister and her
daughter went to southern Missouri, where our parents retired, for
Thanksgiving. My other sister and her husband, from Canada, were there too.
It’s the one time a year we’re all together. <o:p></o:p></div>
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From the beginning, the trip seemed jinxed. Cody and Morgan
and I drove to southern Nebraska to pick up Becky and Logan, and we got a flat
tire on the way. In the dark. On a cold, cold night. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We got to Kansas City at rush hour time, and somehow ended
up going through KC instead of around it (sidenote: in all the years mom and
dad have lived in Missouri, I think there has been ONE TIME I’ve gotten AROUND
Kansas City…the rest of the trips I’ve somehow managed to go through part or
all of it!) The low fuel light was on…and we were stuck in construction. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We stopped at the first gas station we came to and my
sister’s comment, after we got on the road again, was <i>“Let’s stop at a prison next time…the restroom would probably be
cleaner than that one!”</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Within hours of getting to mom and dad’s, Cody complained of
a stomach ache and started vomiting. The next day dad took us for a ride in his
boat and on the way back to their home Morgan threw up…in the back of their
car…that they’d just started leasing. There’s not one picture of us all
together that Thanksgiving because either Cody or Morgan were sick in bed the
whole three days we were there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Early in the morning of the day after Thanksgiving, Becky
woke me up. <i>“Logan isn’t feeling good. I
think we should leave so we get home before you and I get sick…or we could be
here for a long time.”</i> (Mom and dad and my sister Deb and her husband Steve
were glad we left...as we drove out they were throwing open the windows to air
out the house, despite the temperature being in the low 30’s.) We loaded up the
green-faced kids, mom gave us an armload of towels, and we started the 400 mile
drive home. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We stopped 8 times in the first two hours, in a few parking
lots…gas stations…and at least once on the side of the road. It was very long
trip. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Give thanks in ALL
circumstances Lord? What could I possibly be thankful for about that Thanksgiving
trip? <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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As it turns out, many things. We were able to coast into
town on the flat tire, and it only took AAA a little while to get there and
change the tire. We didn’t run out of fuel in the middle of construction in
downtown Kansas City. I hope I’ve been in have been in the filthiest
gas-station restroom that I will ever be in. Although there’s not a picture of
all of us together that Thanksgiving, we <i>were
</i>all together! Becky and I didn’t get
sick until we were home…and dad (who had to preach in church that Sunday)
didn’t get sick at all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course, our circumstances on that trip were very minor
compared to many things people face every day—a terminal diagnosis, the
sickness of a child, the break-up of a marriage, loss of a job. But God’s
command is the same: <i>Give thanks in all
circumstances. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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What can we give thanks for
during trying, terrible times? If nothing else, our faith. And we can be
thankful for Jesus and His death that gave us life. Nothing, and no one, no
circumstance, can take away our salvation. No matter what the outcome of
anything you are going through, you are not alone. The Lord is with you. And
believers will be with Him, for eternity. And<i> that</i> is something to be thankful for!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Read more by Shelly at <a href="http://www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com/">www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com</a>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-5189333050548130012015-11-19T17:49:00.001-08:002015-11-19T17:49:42.368-08:00"The Only Way" Scripture Memory Challenge December <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The Only Way<o:p></o:p></div>
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By Shelly Burke, Editor<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus said, <i>“I am the
way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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John 14:6<o:p></o:p></div>
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Chances are, if you’re
reading the <i>Nebraska Family Times,</i>
you know that Jesus is the only way to eternal life--heaven. Many people,
however—even so-called believers—do not believe this. Some believe that <i>“it doesn’t really matter who I believe in—Mohammad, for example—or
what I believe, as long as I really and truly believe it, I’ll get to heaven.” </i><o:p></o:p></div>
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Others believe in
Jesus, but only believe that He was a “<i>good
man</i>” or that He <i>“didn’t really die
and come back to life.”</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Others believe that
Jesus is part of the way to heaven…but to get there they must also be a ”good enough” person or pray “enough” of the right prayers
or give “enough” money to the church or to charities. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the verse above,
Jesus does not say that He is “part of the way” to heaven, or “one of the ways”
to get to heaven. He is very clear that He is <b><i>the way </i></b>to the Father, to
God, to eternal life. Jesus does not say he is “part of the truth” or “one of
the truths”; He says that He is <b><i>the truth. <o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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Do the people you love
and care about know this? Are you sure?
If not (or even if you know they know that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the
life), invite them to one of the many church services that will be held this
Christmas season. It’s easy—simply say, <i>“Would
you like to go to church with me Christmas Eve? Our church has a beautiful
service—I just love singing the Christmas songs”,</i> or <i>“The choir concert at our church is wonderful—would you like to go with
me?</i>” or <i>“I love starting Christmas
Day celebrating the real reason—Jesus’ birth—and then continuing the
celebration with family and our special dinner. Would you like to come with me
to church?” </i><o:p></o:p></div>
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What
better gift could you give someone than to introduce them to the eternal truth?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Shelly is the editor and publisher of the Nebraska Family Times. Read
more at </i><a href="http://www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com/"><i>www.nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com</i></a><i>. If you would like to receive FREE Scripture Memory Cards, email shellyburkern@gmail.com. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-7865972703840111652015-06-29T17:42:00.001-07:002015-06-29T17:42:07.236-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">7 Steps to Escaping Temptation </b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">By Shelly Burke, Editor </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>1 Corinthians 10:13</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">To receive your FREE Scripture<br />
Memory Card, see previous post!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Temptations are part of living in a world full of sin. However, we are not powerless in the face of temptation. While God doesn’t promise that we won’t be tempted, in this verse he does promise us a way out. However, we have to be active in resisting sin; God probably will not whisk you away to a safe place or cause an earthquake for distraction! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are some ways to be active in preparing for temptation:</span></b> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Know your boundaries</span></b>. Scripture gives us many absolute boundaries; we are not to lie, steal, gossip, have sex outside of marriage, murder, or curse. When you have it in your mind that you will not do these things, based on God’s Word, you are much less likely to give in. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Define your boundaries.</b> </span>Some boundaries are not absolute. Where limits are not specified in the Bible, determine your own limits. The Bible doesn’t forbid watching TV or listening to music or reading as long as it doesn’t lead us to sin, or distract us from Him. Ask God for discernment in choosing these activities. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Avoid temptation.</b></span> Do everything you can not to even be in a situation in which you’ll be tempted. Discuss limits if you are dating. Don’t be alone with a guy or girl if you’ll be tempted sexually. Avoid the breakroom at work if there is only negative talk and gossip among the people who are in there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Plan what you will do when you are in a tempting situation.</span></b> Despite attempts to avoid temptation, at some point you will probably find yourself in a less-than-optimal situation. What will you do? Depending on the circumstances, you may choose to leave the situation quietly, speak up for your beliefs, or explain your beliefs. In some situations you might have to take dramatic action, like quitting a job in which you’re expected to lie or cheat. You might decide to stop hanging out with friends who cheat on their spouses. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>5.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Pray.</b></span> Ask God to give you the wisdom to know how to get out of the situation. Ask Him for the words to say and action to take. Ask Him to keep you strong. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>6.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Role play with your kids. </b></span>They face temptation too! Teach them at a young age what God’s Word says they should not do. Talk about copying homework, bullying other kids, stealing, sexual temptation, pornography, explicit books and movies, alcohol and drugs, playing violent video games, and so on. Define your limits (which are their limits too) and be firm in enforcing them. Talk about situations in which they might find themselves, and how they can “escape”. Discuss the importance of choosing friends with similar values. 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns, <i>“Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.”</i> Some parents have an agreement in which if the child calls and says <i>“Can you pick me up?”</i> or gives a code word, the parent will, without question, pick them up and remove them from the situation. Our kids could tell their friends, <i>“If I do that my mom will ground me for six months!”</i> because it was the truth! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>7.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Remember—God forgives!</b></span> We can all relate to the words of Paul in the book of Romans: “<i>For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”</i> (Romans 7:19) God forgives, just for the asking, any and all of our sins. He provides a way of escape for us, but He also knows that in our sinful nature, we will still sin. And He forgives. </span><br />
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">To receive your FREE Scripture Memory Challenge verse card for the month, and for the rest of the year, send your name and address to </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">shelly@shellyburke.net or </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Nebraska Family Times, 209 27th St., Columbus, NE 68601. $10 suggested donation to cover postage costs. </span></i></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-25825382072415782242015-06-14T10:10:00.000-07:002015-06-14T10:12:23.834-07:00"Raising Godly Girls" book review <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A great resource for moms of girls of any age!<br />
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<i>I'm so happy to announced the release of "Raising Godly Girls" by my good friend Deb Burma! </i></div>
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If God has blessed you with the gift of a daughter (or
daughters), He has entrusted you with both a huge task and a sometimes
overwhelming privilege. In <i>Raising Godly
Girls, </i>author Deb Burma comprehensively covers the wide range of issues
related to faith and related to “the world”, that raising a daughter
involves. </div>
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<i>Raising Godly Girls</i>
stands out among parenting books as a resource that moms can begin using at any
time--when their girls are toddlers or almost all grown up--and refer back to
again and again. As well as encouraging readers to incorporate faith into every
aspect of the lives of their “princesses of the King” <i>Raising Godly Girls</i> directly addresses tricky, sensitive and
uncomfortable topics that girls of all ages face today, including the pressure
to dress and act sexually, body image and developing good character. <i>Raising Godly Girls </i>also recognizes the
vital need for girls to have faith and the Lord infused in every aspect of their
lives, through prayer, Bible study, devotions, and worship. <o:p></o:p></div>
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While Deb offers a wide variety of “real life” suggestions
for facing the “real world” problems of today (she realizes that each family is
unique), she always guides us back to
the best parenting book—the Bible. Through specific verses and narratives from
Scripture, Deb shows us what the Lord desires of us as examples for our girls
(and everyone around us) and how He desires them to act—“in the world but not
of the world”. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For example, Deb shares how devotion time in their own home
changed throughout the years as the kids (one princess, Courtney, who was
integral in the development of this book, and two princes, her brothers) grew
and schedules became busier. Deb also encourages moms who are new Christians,
or perhaps have recently renewed their commitment to their faith, that it’s not
“too late” to incorporate faith in their kids’ lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Raising Godly Girls</i>
is written in Deb Burma’s unique conversational style, filled with personal
stories and anecdotes, and packed with scripture and encouragement on every
page. She shares scenarios that all readers can relate to— like the hectic
shopping trip with energetic toddlers after which she forgot to drive through
the pick-up lane to pick up her groceries.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After presenting an issue specific to raising our girls,
every chapter wraps up with three sections that show readers how apply the
information in that chapter. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Don’t
Conform, Be Transformed</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> helps readers apply the truths of that chapter with
encouragement to live “in, but not of, the world.”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Word of
Grace</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> reassures us that our mistakes and sins, and the sins of our
daughters—of long ago or of that very day--are forgiven through the grace of
our Lord Jesus Christ.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Show and
Tell</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> provides leads us to look inside ourselves to evaluate our own actions
and motivations and gives concrete examples, from Deb and her daughter,
Courtney, on whose experiences growing up Deb drew from extensively, for moms
to show and tell her daughter the truths of that chapter. </span></li>
</ul>
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<i>To read more by Deb Burma, and to see where she will be speaking, go to her website <a href="http://www.debburma.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Fragrant Offerings</a>. To order "Raising Godly Girls" go to www.cph.org. </i></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-10791665252587700772015-04-25T19:03:00.002-07:002015-04-28T16:31:13.452-07:00A to Z Blogging "W is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Worst Things to say in Any Situation"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>From the Series "Words Matter"</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>Newspaper</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGgPIZu9Aq8dSytAj_zswg1kVAoGKSmAElC7VLoOfoHecNnatyR7eTIr6QDme6JkE_p-KDFF808obFvVMVkVhdL1swezQhEWP21ZbSR1vEIiGv3bg2-SwB-f3chmrpiKP87fX4i-BE/s1600/W.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGgPIZu9Aq8dSytAj_zswg1kVAoGKSmAElC7VLoOfoHecNnatyR7eTIr6QDme6JkE_p-KDFF808obFvVMVkVhdL1swezQhEWP21ZbSR1vEIiGv3bg2-SwB-f3chmrpiKP87fX4i-BE/s1600/W.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes we’re tempted to use these phrases because we’re so uncomfortable with a grieving or suffering person’s emotions. Resist the temptation and do not say them! Instead, use one of the phrases on the next page, which will be much more comforting and helpful.</span><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“I know just EXACTLY how you feel!” <i>(No, you don't know "exactly" how someone feels...even if the circumstances seem the same, they are not, and people do not react to or feel the same way even in similar circumstances.)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“Don’t worry, it will all work out perfectly and everything will be just fine.” <i>(You don't know this and can't promise it.)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“Here’s what you need to do . . . “ <i>(You don't know all the details, and even if you do, it's not your place to say what someone "needs" to do.)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“It can’t be THAT bad!” <i>(To the person it is happening to, YES it CAN be that bad!)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“Get over it! You‘ve felt that way long enough.” <i>(There is no timetable for grief. Grief after a death, divorce, or other life-changing event, will be life-long.)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“You’ve grieved enough.” <i>(How do you know what "enough" <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMwjWbFtcwWwLja4thcoa7LO9GM3CG7Y2qJynQ9bqqtB41aYy2TORrarQ5SsgX7dZRtQw1HKAlkN8AgDFZxAuSLcmc-62FRyODoy6iDfccUK9jHMjPxLhe-bAebUWmHr2qduWyk-rF/s1600/worst+things.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMwjWbFtcwWwLja4thcoa7LO9GM3CG7Y2qJynQ9bqqtB41aYy2TORrarQ5SsgX7dZRtQw1HKAlkN8AgDFZxAuSLcmc-62FRyODoy6iDfccUK9jHMjPxLhe-bAebUWmHr2qduWyk-rF/s1600/worst+things.jpg" /></a></div>
is?)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“You’re not grieving in the ‘right’ way.” <i>(What is the "right" way to grieve??? If you're concerned about how someone is reacting to grief, talk with a professional before confronting them. And do so in a kinder way.)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“Don’t feel that way!” <i>(There is no right or wrong way to "feel".)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“Don’t say that!” <i>(We say this because we are uncomfortable; it is a blessing to allow someone to share all of their thoughts and have them be accepted by the listener without judgement.)</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">“Don’t cry!” <i>(Again, we say this because we are uncomfortable seeing someone grieve. Push aside your own discomfort and give the person the blessing of letting her cry without judgement.) </i></span></li>
</ul>
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<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><b>Click here for the <a href="http://nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com/2015/04/a-to-z-blogging-challenge_2.html" target="_blank">The Best Things to Say in Any Situation</a></b></span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><b>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------</b></span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">, </span></b></span></div>
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<b style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: 'Bradley Hand ITC'; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian
Moms.”</span></span></b></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-29118467269070140952015-04-23T13:30:00.002-07:002015-04-23T13:31:27.501-07:00Blogging A to Z on Throwback Thursday, "T is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A to Z Blogging: T is for...Thoughts</h3>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 1.4;">By Shelly Burke, Editor</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 1.4;"><b><i>(This post originally appeared on April 23, 2013. I needed this reminder today and pray it blesses you as well!)</i></b></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #002060;">For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…” </span></i><span style="color: #002060;">2 Corin. 10:5<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTbsq2IL3xnira7-junB1hCbcYRPg7JHBQqedbg52x_Y0rEXtggZpUT9MLVphcb9m74dBYxf-8a8Zjq47KtoISIZqTENaDyumGcYoN36BKGkNj_uVD7MiIk2Kad5M7BxOIX1hlqima/s1600/Captive+thoughts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; color: #6699cc; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTbsq2IL3xnira7-junB1hCbcYRPg7JHBQqedbg52x_Y0rEXtggZpUT9MLVphcb9m74dBYxf-8a8Zjq47KtoISIZqTENaDyumGcYoN36BKGkNj_uVD7MiIk2Kad5M7BxOIX1hlqima/s200/Captive+thoughts.jpg" height="149" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></div>
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My thoughts, especially in the middle of the night, can take me to scary places. <i>“What if I lose my jobs—both of them…can’t get another nursing job of any kind anywhere in the whole state (or country!)… and I eat alllllllllll of the food in my cupboards….still don’t have a job so get evicted…and my Envoy breaks down….so I have to have it towed down by the river so I can live in an Envoy, down by the river…?(Like whatever that song is, about “ living in a van, down by the river”).<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Or, even darker…<i>”What if I can’t get insurance when our COBRA runs out…and then I get cancer </i>(I’ve had two friends diagnosed with breast cancer in the last few weeks)…<i>and I’m all alone…and NONE of my friends will take me to ANY appointments…and anyway I’m living in my broken-down Envoy, down by the river…”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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OK, in the bright light of day, and even during the night, I realize how ridiculous these thoughts are. For one thing I am blessed with <i>many </i>wonderful friends who would help me out, just as I would help them. But I think everyone has had those dark and racing thoughts at some point—especially during a time of transition and in the dark of night.</div>
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I think the devil likes us to have these thoughts—he wants us to live in fear, both to take away our joy of living, and to make us doubt what we know about God, and the promises that God has given us.</div>
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What Paul is telling us here is that we have more than just ourselves—our flesh—to fight these thoughts. We do not have to do it alone! We have the divine power of the Holy Spirit, working through God’s Word, the Holy Bible, on our side, to dispute these thoughts. We can look to His word and destroy the thoughts that are contrary to what we know of God. </div>
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And what does God’s word say about His character and His promises to us?</div>
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<b><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #002060; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">“Be strong and courageous.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Do not be afraid or terrified…for the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>your God goes with you;<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>He will never leave you<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>nor forsake<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>you.”</span></i></b><b><i><span style="color: #002060; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #002060; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Deuteronomy 31:6<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #002060; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">“And He will give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #002060; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Psalm 91:11<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #002060; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">“Cast all your anxiety upon the Lord because He cares for you!”<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #002060; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">1 Peter 5:7<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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Pray to be discerning, to be able to tell when your thoughts are going into those dark places. When dark thoughts enter your mind, take them captive. Compare them to what you know about God and about His Word. Claim His promises. Accept His peace.</div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-2377412130863636282015-04-22T17:09:00.000-07:002015-04-22T17:09:08.507-07:00A to Z Blogging "S is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Stopping Spouse Bashing"</b></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></b></i><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAK8_YSTC2qRxq_HaXEQ9VJjTkm6EGZ6GLpyV_WKzNYEbtixl1zRXrizT_7qCFhRh_wlVpsWcQTtjMfuJlptfXjKNUO7zZYXZz9_iM37YzbXFTFAZ2Ee2c9Hx-qksZ_at2fosLCma5/s1600/S.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAK8_YSTC2qRxq_HaXEQ9VJjTkm6EGZ6GLpyV_WKzNYEbtixl1zRXrizT_7qCFhRh_wlVpsWcQTtjMfuJlptfXjKNUO7zZYXZz9_iM37YzbXFTFAZ2Ee2c9Hx-qksZ_at2fosLCma5/s1600/S.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">When you’re with friends or co-workers or a group of people, the conversation often turns to spouses and their shortcomings, and then further deteriorates into a session of spouse bashing. While you may enjoy having the momentary attention of having the ‘worst spouse,’ criticizing your spouse can erode your relationship with him or her. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here are some responses that will turn the conversation in a more positive direction.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say </span></b><br />
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<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I hate to criticize; after all, I’m certainly not perfect either!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I am so blessed; my husband took the kids to the park so I <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht9cmggHYnEPmSP9ws7ocLW-rrVOxvDugfGBhfOgotN2T96JA4VCbD80KqZnSQVNFVtTkpMNp7feJQZ6HlcJVEpWyfGvQ190S75tlERBoIwjBYCWnn8uCOr9Fb9jiYAUoiDqcVLtSH/s1600/spouse+bashing+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht9cmggHYnEPmSP9ws7ocLW-rrVOxvDugfGBhfOgotN2T96JA4VCbD80KqZnSQVNFVtTkpMNp7feJQZ6HlcJVEpWyfGvQ190S75tlERBoIwjBYCWnn8uCOr9Fb9jiYAUoiDqcVLtSH/s1600/spouse+bashing+2.jpg" /></a></div>
could have a nap yesterday.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“On our last anniversary, my husband and I promised to never criticize or complain about each other to anyone else, but instead to talk with each other if there are problems.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“My wife made me a wonderful supper last night, and afterwards, rubbed my back! I love her so much.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I made a resolution to not talk to anyone but my spouse about any complaints about him; do you want to join me on that resolution?”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Wow, your husband sounds like a real loser!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Let me tell you how much worse my wife is!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I wouldn’t put up with that behavior--tell her to shape up or ship out.” </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Talk over problems with your spouse, not someone outside of your marriage. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If you need to talk with someone about small irritations or <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Wd6Va3EF3XS78_aP9pHuP4WrX3VsToXu9hMqXhJWL4MdHPg_hmGF2eHmjuiuf7x87u62JhXd9Rm9ixO_rl9Aldw9IYDLG8URB7NNABluSNIkIJmgftiLe7e4vJ5KrgLSaAE4nY4H/s1600/spouse+bashing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Wd6Va3EF3XS78_aP9pHuP4WrX3VsToXu9hMqXhJWL4MdHPg_hmGF2eHmjuiuf7x87u62JhXd9Rm9ixO_rl9Aldw9IYDLG8URB7NNABluSNIkIJmgftiLe7e4vJ5KrgLSaAE4nY4H/s1600/spouse+bashing.jpg" /></a></div>
problems, do so to a close friend who shares your beliefs and will encourage you to improve your marriage, not add to the spouse bashing. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">After you’ve talked with your friend, make an effort to talk about the positive attributes of your spouse. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">When you are in a group and spouse-bashing begins, pray for the right words to say, or the strength to walk away from the conversation. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Consider making a commitment with your spouse to only say flattering and positive things about each other in public. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Say flattering and positive things about your spouse, whether or not he or she is within earshot. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for your spouse; pray to see his or her strong points, not weaknesses. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Change the subject; to the weather, sports, or anything else!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Walk away if the spouse-bashing continues. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . join in by criticizing your spouse, or someone else’s, no matter how tempting it is to do so. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">...make passive-aggressive posts on Facebook; talk with your spouse instead. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Love is patient...love is kind...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>it is not arrogant or rude...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>it does not rejoice at wrongdoing...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (excerpts)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">-----------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">,</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian
Moms.”</span></b></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-64320461515077364042015-04-21T16:50:00.000-07:002015-04-21T16:50:09.772-07:00A to Z Blogging "R is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Racist, Sexist or Bigoted Remarks or Jokes"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>from the series "Words Matter"</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinycSyzC6AjF0-AWFM5GDVaLGW7BXo-umV_4NYdJeiInmS3jwyKd522lWpYHcVevzogdN6G2b5MbYJpEtYxYhlDkE5ytCHyV1r3-oftMbcQlLIKeywMeYNuDXyIAATJJ63CQmqtl9o/s1600/R.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinycSyzC6AjF0-AWFM5GDVaLGW7BXo-umV_4NYdJeiInmS3jwyKd522lWpYHcVevzogdN6G2b5MbYJpEtYxYhlDkE5ytCHyV1r3-oftMbcQlLIKeywMeYNuDXyIAATJJ63CQmqtl9o/s1600/R.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Stereotypical, racist, bigoted, or sexist comments about any group of people are never OK, but unfortunately are a common occurrence. Some people are offended by jokes about blonds or people of a certain age or ethnic or religious group, and some are not. Before you tell a joke targeting a racial, ethnic, social, or religious group of people, ask yourself if you would think it was funny if you belonged to that group. If you would be offended, or if you sense someone in the group would be offended, don’t tell the joke. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Use the following remarks if unacceptable comments are made.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What to Say</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“That is a very sexist comment!”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Remarks like that are not appropriate.” </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“That generalization is untrue for most of the group of people you are talking about.” </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">After a stereotypical comment;<i> “Do you have facts to back that up?” </i>or<i>, “Actually statistics show that . . . “</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I really don’t like jokes like that. Can we please talk about <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinQhuUZFbcHg6LPTmgWzv8Mmw8gt0ghgz93n79Sj50Sgzxc6QnuuMUrD0D7snysjPt37cs32A1i7OffLKyCPLCzQPvM3cTat1JAZfCgi-QpTxGJX_kmHZ8mBMk27Bvqh2o6VULBoxH/s1600/racist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinQhuUZFbcHg6LPTmgWzv8Mmw8gt0ghgz93n79Sj50Sgzxc6QnuuMUrD0D7snysjPt37cs32A1i7OffLKyCPLCzQPvM3cTat1JAZfCgi-QpTxGJX_kmHZ8mBMk27Bvqh2o6VULBoxH/s1600/racist.jpg" /></a></div>
something else?” </i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“ . . . um, er, you know, that’s not the nicest thing to say and maybe we shouldn’t talk about people that way, I think . . . “</i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What to Do</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Say a quick prayer asking God to give you the right words to diffuse the situation. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Say your comments in a calm, firm voice, with a serious expression on your face, and then change the subject to something neutral, like the weather or another generic topic.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If this situation occurs in your workplace or place of worship, report it to a supervisor, the Human Resources representative, a pastor or elder or other appropriate person. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . apologize for your beliefs about not making disparaging remarks. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">..."let it go." </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">--------------------------------</span><br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-57059365646471086002015-04-21T16:08:00.000-07:002015-04-21T16:08:55.303-07:00A to Z Blogging "Q is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...The Queen (or King!) of Drama"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>From the series "Words Matter"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">By Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, <i>Nebraska Family Times</i></span><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">(<b>Author's note to my friends</b>: God has blessed me with wonderful friends! I don't have any drama queens or kings in my life, so if you are reading this, it's not written *to* you. We all come in contact with drama queens or kings at some point in our lives (and speaking for myself I can BE a drama queen once in a while...) and I want to share some ways of interacting with them calmly and hopefully helping them with the drama.) </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCJeguD4SCjdKNYtzwID89jbZKLDH-xgx6sQM9gFyOBmBadFNUJY6UhexYdfTpyn7Hj0TuY_ztPWPIG2JBDZBdEP3VDnCsLHVPDOo7MOSmul2QHOz1DSw7IcDfncyhR0E1AIqXiBuq/s1600/Q.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCJeguD4SCjdKNYtzwID89jbZKLDH-xgx6sQM9gFyOBmBadFNUJY6UhexYdfTpyn7Hj0TuY_ztPWPIG2JBDZBdEP3VDnCsLHVPDOo7MOSmul2QHOz1DSw7IcDfncyhR0E1AIqXiBuq/s1600/Q.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">We ALL have Drama Queen and King moments in our lives, or at least I know I do! These suggestions are for the person for whom every out-of-the-ordinary (and sometimes even the ordinary) occurrence is a crisis. A minor health complaint requires visits to multiple doctors and perhaps specialists. Unhappiness in a job or a perceived snub by someone necessitates lamenting about it all day and multiple vague Facebook updates or tweets. Even world events and national or global issues (the weather, homelessness) can cause this person distress well out of proportion with reality. Nothing can be ‘let go‘; everything is personal in some way and must be discussed in great detail, often complete with tears. Any and every suggestion you, or anyone else gives, *will not work* to solve or even decrease the drama in the Drama Queen or King's life. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It helps somewhat to understand what the motivation of a Drama Queen or King might be. Sometimes a person is lonely or doesn't feel that he or she is getting the attention he or she "needs." Some people have had drama of one sort or another present in their life, all their life and it is, to them, a normal and necessary part of life. Drama Kings and Queens can be exhausting to keep up with! If this person is a good friend your goal might be to help the person see how overly-dramatic he or she is being, but in a way that does not hurt feelings or irreparably damage your relationship. If the person is a distant acquaintance you might have to distance yourself from the drama. Always remember to show kindness; you are a child of God and we should always strive to show His love. </span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What to Say </b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Wow, that was quite a performance! Are you ready to talk about it calmly, now?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">"Let's pray about it, that you will feel God's leading you to a solution." </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Since I don’t have millions of dollars to donate, and can’t go over personally to save them, I’m going to leave the plight of the horny toads in South Africa in God’s hands.” </span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I can tell this is all very upsetting to you . . . Let’s get together to talk about it when I have a few minutes to talk about it.” </i>(Sometimes just talking about something relieves some of the <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5fEdCt_FJcdiPmhRFNpMq-ICXZe1rtlwkdwJzfO_pA8xOo7rRfwyQPhYzbN1BZvlDwxyFrYaQm-K5PA_HOeGQCfqnlAK5WwLdhqmzmWJLIWFTvciaxcG5yL0rVmD8zqpkZuxzyWgE/s1600/queen+of+drama+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5fEdCt_FJcdiPmhRFNpMq-ICXZe1rtlwkdwJzfO_pA8xOo7rRfwyQPhYzbN1BZvlDwxyFrYaQm-K5PA_HOeGQCfqnlAK5WwLdhqmzmWJLIWFTvciaxcG5yL0rVmD8zqpkZuxzyWgE/s1600/queen+of+drama+2.jpg" /></a></div>
stress that leads to drama king or queen performances.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“What can we do about it?” </i>(depending on the answer, encourage the person to take action or realize that he cannot do anything about this issue).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If someone has been unwilling to take any action about the situation, kindly say, <i>"When you are ready to do something about this, let me know and I will do what I can to help." </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">On a Facebook post: <i>"You are in my thoughts and prayers."</i><i> </i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Tell me more!” (if you say it seriously).</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Don’t be ridiculous.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What is wrong with you?”</span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Why should I care?”</i> (Be kind! The person may tell you, in great detail, why you should care!)<i> </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">On a Facebook post: <i>"You are such a drama queen!" </i>or anything sarcastic or mean. Be kind! </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for God’s guidance to deal with the situation in a way that shows His love. </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">Explain your point of view about the issue, objectively. </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">Point out the facts about the issue objectively. Perhaps the person will realize that it’s not the crisis he or she is making it out to be.</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">Try to redirect the conversation to an area that is less emotional, like work, family, or the weather. </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">Distance yourself from the person if he/she is taking too much of your time and energy. This is not an easy thing to do, but may be the best solution. </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">See the positive aspects of the person beyond his actions. </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>. . . </i>react to the performance; calmly say<i>, “We’ve already discussed that,” </i>and then change the subject.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . get caught up in a discussion if the person is clearly <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfh-cBrhz6AR90u-e8a0omCHjIaafzUwJbNfV2TXRKqW9JtmtAVtKiWKN1sHnThISsPwnsnmDFTDVA09oCy1INqbykpGklXV1EomdV_1k0cWmI9vKI4HgTtT0NbjXvxmq-Nc1wM8M/s1600/Queen+of+Drama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfh-cBrhz6AR90u-e8a0omCHjIaafzUwJbNfV2TXRKqW9JtmtAVtKiWKN1sHnThISsPwnsnmDFTDVA09oCy1INqbykpGklXV1EomdV_1k0cWmI9vKI4HgTtT0NbjXvxmq-Nc1wM8M/s1600/Queen+of+Drama.jpg" /></a></div>
unwilling to consider another point of view or try anything to diminish the drama. Sometimes a discussion will only prolong the drama or allow the person to argue his or her position further.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">...comment on a Facebook post at all if in the past the person has contradicted or reacted negatively to what you've tried to suggest. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">...get into a long "conversation" on Facebook if the Drama King or Queen has been unwilling to accept any potential solutions in the past. </span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Is there a Drama Queen or King in Your Life? How do you cope?</span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></i></b></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
<i><br /></i></div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-60358613414741210962015-04-21T12:24:00.000-07:002015-04-21T12:24:50.601-07:00A to Z Blogging "P is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Politics and Religion" </b></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></b></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfc-UqEcwaojTjAjZLuX95pMUKtfBHqJLJ9T1Jbs1hzgiDo16x9IGrCVjZCEptnT1jfoYR-7X1dy8ZBRIgucBknI_HzBw1yCNrkdtUMR8UOZTdLOmsDjycNmTSSNNWRwic_4ymJSO4/s1600/P.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfc-UqEcwaojTjAjZLuX95pMUKtfBHqJLJ9T1Jbs1hzgiDo16x9IGrCVjZCEptnT1jfoYR-7X1dy8ZBRIgucBknI_HzBw1yCNrkdtUMR8UOZTdLOmsDjycNmTSSNNWRwic_4ymJSO4/s1600/P.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">People’s core values and morals are usually based at least partly on religious and/or political beliefs. Almost everyone has passionate feelings about some aspects of religion and/or politics, and since there are (at least) two sides to every issue, there are also many heated discussions about these issues. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here are several situations in which you might be, and possible replies:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">To start a discussion:</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What did you think of the election?” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What are your thoughts on _____________?” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I’d like to hear your point of view; will you hear my thoughts too?”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>You can disagree with actions of a person or group by saying, </b><i> </i></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I do not agree with the decision to . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I think they should have handled it differently . . . “</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">At an occasion or in a setting where a serious discussion is inappropriate--a funeral, for example--or when you can tell that continuing the conversation will lead to an argument, you might say:</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I think we’re on the opposite side of that issue and this isn’t really an appropriate place to discuss it, so let’s talk about something else.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">With a smile, say, “You’re sitting at the table with three people who happen to take the opposite point of view! Let’s talk about something else.”<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">If the situation is escalating, diffuse it; </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I can see that we have very different thoughts about that, and<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhv-_fiiK7U7zs9ZoI0Mw_ibG0xUVPt2BBd5jd31FHthdUD-PaCc07ShimP5GXczvX3zjWh1DDSXTlN-ElAwu6Mx0KXE5SzLCRCupV01-xOtMOSFJPsJzPXvz2l1s4wilTk7tbc-35/s1600/Religion+and+politics2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhv-_fiiK7U7zs9ZoI0Mw_ibG0xUVPt2BBd5jd31FHthdUD-PaCc07ShimP5GXczvX3zjWh1DDSXTlN-ElAwu6Mx0KXE5SzLCRCupV01-xOtMOSFJPsJzPXvz2l1s4wilTk7tbc-35/s1600/Religion+and+politics2.jpg" /></a></div>
that’s what’s great about America--we can all have our own point of view. How about this nice weather we‘re having?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I don’t think any of us know all the details about that issue . . . let’s just talk about something else. What did you think about the championship game last week?” </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">At some time, you will probably be in a situation where you want to talk about your religious beliefs or political views. Remember that the way you present your beliefs will influence how the other person receives them--if you are pushy, strident, critical of his or her beliefs, or confrontational in expressing your own beliefs, the person you are trying to convince might not even hear your message, let alone consider your point of view. Keep your voice calm and expression friendly. You might say; <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> </span></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“In our church, we believe _________; in contrast, your church believes __________.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Our religion teaches __________; how does that compare to what your religion teaches?” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I think the neatest part about what I believe is . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Here’s why I’ve taken my view of this issue . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“My political party is in favor of ________, while yours is against it.” </span></i></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What Not to Say</b></span></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I’m right; you’re wrong.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your religion is really weird.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your political party is always for the wrong thing.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“If you believe what you do, you’re stupid.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What to Do</b></span></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If you do decide to get into a conversation about religion or politics, make sure you truly want to talk about the issue, not just argue about it, and are able to clearly state and explain your position, as well as calmly listen to another point of view. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Always remain calm when presenting your beliefs. If a particular issue comes up frequently, consider writing out and practicing the important points so you can present them clearly <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqfhCUjHqYkb9ghgyJrot8MpjZoZv5r9CV-C7HXxEtnBNtoELQO0yPckyT2puWjUVA0R2YvggIDJn1VrAkQQtRunhpNjS7TOJFC8aLZNbvYIheoExyBJlgKObJ2qxFVahIFU-KhSX/s1600/religion+and+Politics.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqfhCUjHqYkb9ghgyJrot8MpjZoZv5r9CV-C7HXxEtnBNtoELQO0yPckyT2puWjUVA0R2YvggIDJn1VrAkQQtRunhpNjS7TOJFC8aLZNbvYIheoExyBJlgKObJ2qxFVahIFU-KhSX/s1600/religion+and+Politics.jpg" /></a></div>
and calmly. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Calmly listen to the other person’s point of view, without interrupting. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If the situation is escalating, diffuse it by making one of the comments listed previously, or walking away. If you become angry, you will not convince anyone of your point of view, and might give the person a bad impression of the beliefs that are most important to you. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Many people know very little about politics or particular religious beliefs or practices. If you are well-informed and able to express your views calmly and clearly, consider yourself an educator and use your knowledge to share your beliefs and clear up common misconceptions. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Special Notes about Facebook, Twitter and other social media:</b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be cautious about posting jokes or graphics about religion or politics on Facebook, Twitter or other social media. People can and do overreact to these no matter how you meant it--for a laugh, for discussion or just to state a point--when you posted. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Consider commenting on your post how you did mean the post to be taken: <i>"Just posting this for a laugh!" </i>for example, or<br /><i>"This clearly expresses my point of view." </i>or, <i>"This is very informative." </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Don't feel that you have to respond to all comments or get into a "discussion", especially if other comments are rude. However, if you can express your thoughts and beliefs clearly, this is a good opportunity to do so; keep your remarks factual and objective without insulting or name-calling.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Ignore comments that are rude or contain name-calling or inflammatory comments. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that when you are posting, or reading comments, you can't "read" the emotion behind the comment as you can when you're talking with someone. Don't be automatically offended by a comment that might be meant as humor, and consider marking humorous comments that you make with an "LOL" or smiley face so people are clear that you are joking. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If you know your post will offend close relatives and/or friends, is it worth posting? Only you can decide. </span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div>
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . use inflammatory words like ‘stupid‘, ‘idiotic‘, or anything demeaning. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . discuss a controversial topic if the other person is very argumentative or inebriated. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . use absolutes (always, never) when describing your own, or the opposing, point of view. There are almost always exceptions. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . have religious or political debates in an inappropriate setting, like at a funeral.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">What do you do or say when religion or politics comes up in a conversation? Do you talk calmly about it or change the subject? </span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
------------------------</div>
<div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-38622451036122842902015-04-21T11:40:00.000-07:002015-04-25T18:19:09.816-07:00A to Z Blogging "U is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Unexpected Pregnancy"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>From the series "Words Matter"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYzTqHXgjGzxPDwKcT1XgZVWyCOZUgfKJBZO9dk9N_UIcNX66OiZhCv4PJ4cdJTM8PUE6B8BxNhDSKS2uz7vhX0DL_ehEw_1Y6RNvCwMRwEHSLVFF4BbhUjr5nRbn3HG2YDkneBpZt/s1600/U.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYzTqHXgjGzxPDwKcT1XgZVWyCOZUgfKJBZO9dk9N_UIcNX66OiZhCv4PJ4cdJTM8PUE6B8BxNhDSKS2uz7vhX0DL_ehEw_1Y6RNvCwMRwEHSLVFF4BbhUjr5nRbn3HG2YDkneBpZt/s1600/U.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>When a Friend’s Unmarried Child is Pregnant</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>A parent who is faced with a unmarried child’s pregnancy is confronted with many issues and choices, and will be feeling a wide range of emotions. The following comments and suggestions are appropriate to say to both the child and her parents. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">What to Say</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We are keeping you and your family in our prayers.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“God bless you for choosing life for your baby.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I’m a good listener if you ever want to talk!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your child is blessed to have your love.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We will support you all whether you decide to keep the baby or put her up for adoption.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">"A baby is never a mistake. It might come at an inconvenient time or less-than-ideal circumstances, but a baby is never a 'mistake'."</span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To the parents:</span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You taught your kids well; as parents we just can’t have total control over everything they do; at some point they make their own decisions. It is not your fault this happened!" </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">To the parents:</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Does she even know who the father of the baby is?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“How could she live with herself if she gave the baby up for adoption?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“How were they so dumb to get into this mess--don’t they know about birth control?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Didn’t you see this coming?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“They just have to keep the baby/give the baby up for adoption.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">To the child:</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“How could you be so dumb?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“How could you do this to your family?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You have ruined your life!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You have to . . . “ “You cannot . . . “</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">What to Do</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Think before you speak when you learn about the pregnancy, especially if you are shocked.</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0-XA4BAbiXZxBk4-G_6Tv_CBNH2tO_731IH9agxHFVz5nTHpMwPpyUhup8V-SbGXqxUK8KR1DbSO0fLbaB5qzBR9GF_0rQc_PuXioEecFhuFfzef10lYoVnEuTtHsujvEjfTdhdTk/s1600/unexpected+pregnancy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0-XA4BAbiXZxBk4-G_6Tv_CBNH2tO_731IH9agxHFVz5nTHpMwPpyUhup8V-SbGXqxUK8KR1DbSO0fLbaB5qzBR9GF_0rQc_PuXioEecFhuFfzef10lYoVnEuTtHsujvEjfTdhdTk/s1600/unexpected+pregnancy.jpg" height="156" width="320" /></span></a></div>
</li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Discourage abortion if they are considering it as an option; offer other options, provide the phone number for an adoption agency; offer to make an appointment and go with them. to talk with a pastor. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Encourage the family to work with someone trained in dealing with this situation. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Use the situation as an opportunity to talk with your kids about consequences of their choices. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be friendly and say<i> “Hello!</i>” when you see the child or family in church, at school, at work, or in the store. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Send a card to the parents of the child, thanking them for choosing life for the baby, reminding them that kids make their own choices, and assuring them that you will keep them in your prayers. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . pass on any information if you’re not sure the family wants it made public. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . speculate as to circumstances of the pregnancy, who the father might be, if the child will be placed for adoption, and so on. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . plan a baby shower or give gifts unless/until you know their plans regarding adoption. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . lecture; express your feelings and beliefs in a way that is godly and non-critical.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . feel obligated to attend a baby shower or give gifts if doing so is not in accordance with your beliefs and feelings about the situation. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . accept plans for an abortion without expressing your pro-life beliefs. If you are reluctant to do this, remember that the life of a baby is at stake.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . react with shock regarding the details of paternity, plans for the baby, and so on. Ask the Lord to guide your words and take a deep breath (or two or three!) before saying anything. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>If a Friend is Unexpectedly Pregnant</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It might take your friend some time to get used to an unexpected pregnancy! She will appreciate your friendship and support. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">What to Say</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“How do you feel about the news?” and then, “Congratulations!” </i>or<i> “Oh, my!” </i>depending on how your friend reacts to the news that she is pregnant. </span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“It is OK to have mixed feelings about your pregnancy!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“The baby is blessed to be coming into your family.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Better you than me!”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKSX_ZvA607KMDT8XlvrBZQISdAKC4zaI25uzJYyneZsixZ34SRHuAOCoYKPZDeHPh31lisjoFRpgRAmCL5lXO-dwj-DTTl3jZSXXlSYeYxc0aQS_VgN6yo3yKF_NF7Vx3f3SI6cBg/s1600/unexpected+pregnancy2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKSX_ZvA607KMDT8XlvrBZQISdAKC4zaI25uzJYyneZsixZ34SRHuAOCoYKPZDeHPh31lisjoFRpgRAmCL5lXO-dwj-DTTl3jZSXXlSYeYxc0aQS_VgN6yo3yKF_NF7Vx3f3SI6cBg/s1600/unexpected+pregnancy2.jpg" /></a></div>
</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What were you thinking?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Don’t you know what causes babies?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Do you know what can go wrong in a woman your age?”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">What to Do</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Accept your friend’s feelings of confusion, joy, anger, and/or ambivalence. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Let your friend talk, cry, yell. Accept her feelings and emotions.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">When you sense the time is right, remind her that God has His plan, and babies are a miracle and blessing. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Discourage abortion; encourage adoption if the situation is such that the person feels she cannot give the baby a good home. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"> . . . buy gifts or offer to loan maternity clothes or baby supplies until your friend is ready. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . criticize your friend’s feelings of confusion, ambivalence, anger, or disappointment. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . share the news with anyone until she says it’s OK to do so. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . accept plans for an abortion without expressing your pro-life views; the life of a baby is at stake!</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <b><i>Have you been in either of these situations? What was the best or worst thing someone said to you? What did you say to someone in these situations?</i></b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
----------------------<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br /></div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-25650223663879241812015-04-18T15:16:00.001-07:002015-04-18T15:20:29.533-07:00A to Z Blogging "O is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>...Other Children and Your Child Not Getting Along"</b></span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>From the series "Words Matter"</b></span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijLRH67SB38iex6wEfUwrgJ7ZJdVTitaSbFvcySVjtvePS4YQUBMRMykwfxgP3bSEjA5__OYvL1b3pDkDHD13Jug2xsHfNvsLYH2JfyZMoBbcMvVMIU71glVGAv3vgxrKn9NXHr_F2/s1600/O.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijLRH67SB38iex6wEfUwrgJ7ZJdVTitaSbFvcySVjtvePS4YQUBMRMykwfxgP3bSEjA5__OYvL1b3pDkDHD13Jug2xsHfNvsLYH2JfyZMoBbcMvVMIU71glVGAv3vgxrKn9NXHr_F2/s1600/O.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">In every young child’s life there seems to be, on occasion, a child who hits, kicks or bites; doesn’t share; screams or spits, and generally makes it difficult for your child to enjoy his company. The situation is made worse if the other child’s parents do not make their child behave in a socially acceptable manner. Here are some tactful ways to try to remedy the situation.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To the parent; </span><i><span style="font-size: large;">“My child is a bit intimidated by your child’s yelling and screaming while they are playing. Could you talk with him about that before he comes over?”</span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To the child (in front of the parent if possible); <i>“We have a new rule at our house; no calling names. Anyone who does has to sit in the time-out chair. This includes moms, dads, and visitors.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If the situation is not improving, say to the parent, <i>“Our children just don’t seem to be enjoying each other’s company lately. Let’s take a break from play-dates for awhile. I’m sure it’s just a stage and they’ll enjoy playing together again soon.”</i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You’re just not disciplining your child like you should be. If you were, he wouldn’t be acting this way.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your kid is a brat and terrorizes other kids.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If the issues causing you discomfort are differences in parenting style (how the parents discipline their child, for </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: x-large; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy2M227uoWTChKjplK-ceVCor-ScSki349i5CC5bApPeAXo45gU9o6HJSk3ZBYWcpCQXALvM_BcoB6QWz3ARv66OB_gqjBWVOLZCDb0S1zFIoJm9VnIawNRxtm46DSZSJhNNVU5Hef/s1600/other+kids+getting+along.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy2M227uoWTChKjplK-ceVCor-ScSki349i5CC5bApPeAXo45gU9o6HJSk3ZBYWcpCQXALvM_BcoB6QWz3ARv66OB_gqjBWVOLZCDb0S1zFIoJm9VnIawNRxtm46DSZSJhNNVU5Hef/s1600/other+kids+getting+along.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">example), be careful not to sound judgmental. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that what you say or do could potentially damage your relationship with the child’s parents and your child’s friendship. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If you feel the friendship is not healthy for your child, or your child no longer wants to spend time with the child, gently cut off play-dates. Don’t invite the child over for play-dates, and politely decline play-date invitations. If you do this several times, the friendship will probably gradually fade out. If the invitations continue, you might want to say something like, <i>“This summer will be very busy for us; we won’t have time for play-dates.” “We’ve been so busy lately, we’ve decided to just concentrate on family things for awhile. I’ll let you know when we’re ready for play-dates again.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If the offending child’s home life is chaotic, contact with your family might be the only stability in the child’s life. Keep this fact in mind when you consider cutting off play-dates.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Don’t . . . </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . overreact to minor skirmishes or disagreements between children. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="text-align: left;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom Is</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-60169017710011965092015-04-18T14:51:00.001-07:002015-04-18T14:51:55.336-07:00A to Z Blogging Challenge "N is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...How to say "NO"</b></span><br />
(In the interest of catching up, I'm reposting this post from <a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is</a>.)<br />
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14.4899997711182px; line-height: 21.7350006103516px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1jxrH-SsVaEZL0PjLemSRZQOdUau_cl9SCpSI5Q3ZQ6dEjo4UwhYH6rLNxEiS81bmAQminXfDylTL1KoanHSPkxrBr4PjfRvCAE-cCK4hXq3YG0sdp2jD0dY3Fu8Zgyc5-DCoRKBDCz-7/s1600/J.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; color: #993322; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1jxrH-SsVaEZL0PjLemSRZQOdUau_cl9SCpSI5Q3ZQ6dEjo4UwhYH6rLNxEiS81bmAQminXfDylTL1KoanHSPkxrBr4PjfRvCAE-cCK4hXq3YG0sdp2jD0dY3Fu8Zgyc5-DCoRKBDCz-7/s1600/J.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.498039) 1px 1px 5px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: none; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.498039) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 8px; position: relative;" /></span></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: medium;">From <i>"Mommy, can I have juice?" </i>to <i>"Where are my socks?" "Do you have just a moment to hear about our amazing new product?" "Can you teach Sunday School tomorrow?" "Will you take Dad to the doctor?" "Please bring my lunch to school--I forgot it!" "Will you be a sponsor on the field trip?" "Can you donate to our worthy cause?" "We're looking for donations for our fundraiser" "I'd love for you to join our group!" </i>and ending your day with, <i>"One more drink of water mommy?" </i>and, <i>"Honey, will you rub my back?" </i>you probably receive dozens, if not close to a hundred, requests every day. </span><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14.4899997711182px; line-height: 21.7350006103516px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14.4899997711182px; line-height: 21.7350006103516px;"></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: medium;">It may be tempting to say "YES" to every request, but you'll quickly realize that doing so may lead to feelings of dread, being overwhelmed, and exhaustion. </span><br style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14.4899997711182px; line-height: 21.7350006103516px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14.4899997711182px; line-height: 21.7350006103516px;"></span><b style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14.4899997711182px; line-height: 21.7350006103516px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What should you consider in deciding whether to say "no"? </span></b></span><br />
<ul style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 14.4899997711182px; line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;">
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">All of the details--how much time is involved, if it will cost money (and if so, how much) how many meetings or get-togethers are required, exactly what your job involves, etc. </span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">How would this commitment fit in with your other commitments? If it is something that has many benefits, you might decide to fit it in. If not, you might choose to spend your time on other things.</span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">Would saying "YES" to the request get you any closer to your<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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other goals, or take away time you could spend pursuing your other goals? </span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">If it's a personal favor (like giving a loan, washing a teenager's clothes, doing an errand, trading hours with someone who forgot about another commitment), will saying "yes" truly help the person asking, or allow them to avoid responsibility and/or consequences?</span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">Have you enjoyed doing this sort of thing in the past?</span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">Would you learn a new skill, or use a skill that you have and enjoy using?</span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">Prayerfully consider the request, and open your heart to God's direction. He might urge you in a direction that you'd rather not go, but listen to Him anyway.</span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">Don't automatically say "NO", even if the request is outside of your comfort range. As Christians we are to be open to helping others, especially those who don't have anyone else to help. </span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">How will you say if you say "yes"? Relieved? Excited? Full of dread? Overwhelmed?</span></li>
</ul>
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<b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">What to say when you need time to think about the request:</span></b></div>
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<ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;">
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">"I need to check my calendar before I make a commitment."</span></i></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">"My husband and I have an agreement that we will not commit to anything before talking with each other."</span></i></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">"I'll have to see if I can find a babysitter for that night." </span></i></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">"That is a big commitment and I need to pray and think about it before I make a decision. I will let you know next Tuesday." </span></i></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">Principles of saying "NO":</span></b></div>
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<ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;">
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">It's ok to say no for any reason...or for no reason. God says "NO" to many of our requests when He knows they are not right for us. If you are confident in your reasons to turn down a request, you have no reason to feel guilty about it. Although you might give a reason to close friends or family members, you don't "owe" anyone an explanation. </span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">No one can "make" you feel guilty about saying "NO". If you<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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are confident in your reasoning, you have no reason to feel guilty; it is <i>your choice</i> to feel guilty. </span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">The person asking might wait silently after you've said no, hoping that you'll give an explanation or change your mind and say "YES." Or she might be bold enough to challenge your answer and demand to know why you said "NO." Don't be intimidated or bullied. Calmly repeat your answer as needed. </span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">Don't cave into the pressure of giving an answer immediately. If someone continues to pressure you, simply say, <i>"If I have to make a decision right now, my answer has to be "NO"."</i></span></li>
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<b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">How to say "NO":</span></b></div>
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<ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;">
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">"Thank you for thinking of me, but I just cannot take on that responsibility right now." </span></i></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;">"That just won't fit in with my schedule right now; we are making family activities a priority this year." </span></i></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><i>"I'm sorry, I already have plans." </i>(Even if they are plans for a quiet day at home.)</span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><i>"I know I helped last year, but I just can't this year."</i></span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><i>"I can't help with the fundraiser this year, but put me down for next year"! </i>(Only say this if you mean it; you will get called next year!)</span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><i>"That is not one of my skills or interests, but I could help by..."</i></span></li>
<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><i>"Honey, you need to learn to do your own laundry. I will show you how!"</i></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><i><b>Have you ever regretted not saying "NO"? How do you turn down requests?</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-size: medium;"><i><b>Watch for "Y is for...When to Say "YES"!" on the second to last day of the A to Z Blogging Challenge at <a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is </a>!</b></i></span></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-86665395815614995082015-04-18T14:13:00.001-07:002015-04-18T14:14:27.853-07:00A to Z Blogging "M is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Miscarriage"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>From the Series "Words Matter"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Around 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, so chances are great someone you know has, or will, experience a miscarriage. When someone suffers a miscarriage the loss is real, even if there was no outward evidence of the baby. The parents, as well as siblings, grandparents, and other relatives, suffer the loss of hopes and dreams about a baby who now will not be born. Here are some suggestions for comforting someone who has experienced that loss. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b></span><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I’m so very sorry for your loss!”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“How are you feeling?”</i> (This allows the woman to talk about her physical, as well as emotional, feelings.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I cannot imagine the pain and loss you must be feeling!”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“It’s OK to be mad at God.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I’ve experienced miscarriages; it was a very painful time. If I can help you by telling you about it, please let me know.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“We lost a baby several years ago." </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“What a great loss! I’m praying for your peace and for God to give you comfort and peace and continued direction in your life.” </i></span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">What Not to Say</b><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“It wasn’t really a baby, just a bunch of cells. Don’t be so sad.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“It must have been deformed.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“It just wasn’t mean to be.”</i> (If the other person says this, it’s OK to agree with her.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“At least you have your other children.”</i> (Babies are not interchangeable!)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“You might not have been a good parent anyway.”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“You won’t miss what you never had.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“You can have my children!”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Do you want to hold my baby?”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“You’re not missing much; kids are so much trouble.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“At least you didn’t get attached to the baby.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I just know God will give you your miracle baby.”</i> (No, you do not know that!)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“It’s God’s will--accept it and move on.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“You can try again.” “You‘ll get pregnant again soon.” “You’ll have a healthy baby someday.”</i> (Many women are not able to conceive after a miscarriage, or have multiple miscarriages.) </span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">What to Do</b></div>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The general suggestions about what to do after a death, earlier in the chapter, are appropriate, as well as the following.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Acknowledge the loss as you would any other death; with cards, flowers, and memorials. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If you have experienced a miscarriage, say something like, “I lost a baby, too, and it was very hard!” Don’t go into the details unless the other person asks; this is not about your experience, but about sympathizing with the person who has just recently experienced the loss.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that the father, grandparents and siblings are feeling the loss, too! Express your sympathies to them. CAUTION: Make sure extended family members were aware of the pregnancy before mentioning the miscarriage; the parents might not have shared the news of the pregnancy with all family members. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that as well as the emotional loss, the mother is experiencing the physical manifestations of miscarriage; hormonal and physical changes, and possibly a surgical procedure. Offer to take a meal, clean her house, watch her kids, go shopping for groceries, and so on, so she can begin to heal physically as well as emotionally.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Accept and encourage any rituals that the parents choose, to help them remember the baby. They might want to make footprints, and/or have a memorial service or burial. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Ask the parents how they are doing weeks and months later (especially around the baby‘s due date), not just immediately after the miscarriage. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that it takes time to grieve this loss of a baby; it does not take less time to recover from the death of an unborn baby, than the death of an adult loved one. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Realize that a person who has had a miscarriage may cry when she sees a diaper commercial, a baby, or attends a baby shower. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Send a card or e-mail; consider including a verse like Psalm 18:30, Pro. 3:5-6, or Matt. 14:19. </span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Don’t . . . </b></div>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . ask for the baby furniture or any supplies purchased for the baby who died.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . clean out the nursery for them; doing that is part of the healing process. It is OK to help if you’re asked. </span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is </a></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-22571173302659590282015-04-14T07:42:00.000-07:002015-04-14T07:42:01.019-07:00A to Z Blogging Challenge "L is for..." <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">"...Limiting or Cutting Contact with Family Members"</span></b><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></b></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The decision to limit contact or cut all ties with a family member or members is a difficult one and should not be made in haste or without a lot of thought and prayer. Situations in which you may choose to cut off contact temporarily or permanently may include abuse (towards yourself or someone else), violence, drug or alcohol abuse, damaging manipulative behavior, living an immoral lifestyle, and/or criminal behavior. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">If you or other family members are in danger, or discover something extremely troubling about the person (that he or she has sexually abused someone, for example), you’ll probably leave that person’s presence immediately. Whether you see the person again depends on the specifics of the situation and if the person is remorseful and makes amends. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">If your seeing the person again depends on specific things he or she does or does not do, make that clear to the person face to face, over the phone, or by mail or e-mail, depending on the specifics of situation. Your priority is keeping yourself and your family safe. Do not put yourself in danger. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I will not be around you if you are using illegal drugs.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“When you were so angry last week, I was afraid you were going to physically hurt someone. You will not be invited to our home again until and unless you get your temper under control. I think you need professional help and hope you get it." </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">Call me when you are able to be with us without getting so<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
angry.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Hitting your spouse is wrong, and you are not welcome in our home until you get professional help. You and your wife are in<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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our prayers.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your actions with that child are absolutely unacceptable. It is not safe for you to be around children, and we will not be around you unless and until you accept you have a problem and are able to control it.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Every time we’re together dad gets angry about something, overreacts, calls names, and ruins the occasion. I’m not going to let him set such a negative example for our children; we want them to remember holidays as fun events, not stressful ones. We will not be spending any holidays with him until and unless he changes his behavior.” </span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">When talking with the person exhibiting the behaviors, set firm limits; <i>“In the past, your behavior with family members has been inappropriate and rude. It doesn’t matter why you continue to act that way even after we’ve talked about it and you’ve promised to not act that way. I want to have a relationship with you, but cannot and will not do that unless and until you treat us with respect. That means no yelling, name calling, or critical remarks. If you continue to treat us inappropriately, we will not be able to be in the same place at the same time. You will not intimidate or hurt me or my family any more.” </i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Your behavior is horrible and we can’t stand to be around you.”</i> (Instead of saying this, point out specific behaviors that are unacceptable to you.)</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for God’s guidance as to what to do to protect yourself and your family.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Consider asking another family member or friend to be present while you talk to the person about his or her negative behaviors.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be calm and objective when you talk with the person about his behavior.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Consider attending at least part of a family event, even if you suspect you’ll have to leave early due to the behavior of another person. If the situation takes a turn for the worse, it’s OK to leave. Sometimes it takes a dramatic event--like part of the family leaving right in the middle of dinner--for the person causing the problem, and the rest of the family, to realize the damage that person is causing. The statement you make by leaving might give the rest of the family the courage to take a stand of their own, or pressure the trouble-maker to act in an acceptable manner. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . continue relationships that are harmful or dangerous to yourself or your family. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Explaining Your Actions to Other Family Members</span></b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="font-size: large;">It’s probably not necessary to tell distant, rarely-seen relatives, every detail of why you‘ve decided to limit contact with a family</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Olv606HD-08hrtT4kZpRrouoQapKQt2i0Qlgo7G64qDDk1sgc96OA0w1BoGyVh-rocg1kuBjtvaaKjEkW8Hhs-EHPdE6O1G8_zbD9MvFuJDJcgFcOGduPJxpn06llEH5iVGIUCWAhCRf/s1600/limiting+contact.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Olv606HD-08hrtT4kZpRrouoQapKQt2i0Qlgo7G64qDDk1sgc96OA0w1BoGyVh-rocg1kuBjtvaaKjEkW8Hhs-EHPdE6O1G8_zbD9MvFuJDJcgFcOGduPJxpn06llEH5iVGIUCWAhCRf/s1600/limiting+contact.jpg" height="182" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">member or not attend an event. However, if the person you are avoiding could be a danger to others, you have an obligation to share relevant details so others can protect themselves and their families. If family get-togethers have been contentious for years, others will probably understand (even if they do not like the fact that you are pulling away), without your outlining the details, your decision not to attend an event or get together. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">If the conflict was not common knowledge, you have to decide how many and which of the details to share. Before you do so, consider your motives--is it really necessary to share every detail, or are you sharing unnecessary details for revenge or to ‘prove’ you were ‘right’ about something? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">The following examples will give you ideas for dealing with this situation. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To an elderly aunt whom you rarely see, when she asks why you didn’t attend the reunion the previous summer; <i>“It just didn’t work out for us last year. But we hope to see you very soon!”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">A cousin with whom you’re close; <i>“My sister and I have a difficult relationship, and it’s best if we’re not together at family gatherings. Her behaviors towards my family hurt them deeply, and I’m not going to ask them to put themselves through that. We’re sorry to miss the get-together but have to this year.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To your mother; <i>“It’s just too hard to be around my brother when he constantly reminds me of mistakes I made years ago. I’ve asked him over and over not to bring them up, but he continues to. I’m not going to come to the wedding this summer because I’m not going to put myself through that again.”</i></span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“The last three holiday dinners have ended in tears. Our family is going to spend it alone this year; we’re not inviting anyone.” </span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">To your brother, whose wife disrupts holiday gatherings; <i>“I’m sorry to have to say this, but your wife’s behavior at family events is just too disruptive. She makes fun of our children and made mom cry with her cruel remarks last year. If she will not promise to not yell or make critical comments this year, I’m afraid we can’t invite her.” </i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“He is a jerk and no one should be around him.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“If you care about me you won’t go to the reunion either.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We’re not coming and you should know why.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Whatever she says is a lie. You better not listen, if you want to be friends with me.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Prayerfully consider the actions that are best for you and your family.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Tell others of your decision objectively and calmly.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Tell other family members of potentially harmful behaviors like violence, sexual abuse, or criminal activity.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Consider giving more details to someone who can and will try</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKhRa0GvgW5WjK9HrmiOU767GE4H_vbFzeO9t7YYOKAMrjPCL4yNtweC7KSGjTvWSJz-1XNsPalUf1lqbDEPzduNpOFfRUzkV0F1qVRjAkD5eKsku7e1rKztRgbJyhrtzPnX4mxsRtX2-t/s1600/limiting+contact3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKhRa0GvgW5WjK9HrmiOU767GE4H_vbFzeO9t7YYOKAMrjPCL4yNtweC7KSGjTvWSJz-1XNsPalUf1lqbDEPzduNpOFfRUzkV0F1qVRjAkD5eKsku7e1rKztRgbJyhrtzPnX4mxsRtX2-t/s1600/limiting+contact3.jpg" height="320" width="303" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">to do something about the disruptive family member. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that family dynamics are complicated and can be unpredictable; people who could do something about the troubling family member, for a variety of reasons, might not be willing to do so. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be prepared for any reaction from the person you bring into the situation--they could be willing to help, or become very defensive and angry at you. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . ask people to take sides in the conflict.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . be vengeful in what you say; tell only the truth.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . second-guess your decision if family members tell you that you are ‘over-reacting’ or wrong to pull back from other family members. Your priority is to protect yourself and your family. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Have you had to limit contact with family members? </span></i></b><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-1648637966152172712015-04-13T15:17:00.001-07:002015-04-13T15:17:22.536-07:00A to Z Challenge "K is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Kids Behaving Badly--Yours and Other People's"</b></span><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></i></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If Someone’s Kids are Behaving Badly</span></b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgIMNiNENdNa-Ak7ifRPG6s3HFEdjKawL6TfCgwCy-EX45j0GDxixbjx5aOWfhCrF1p9ua5-M6RAsk-9aP6d68t5v6QwP4m5Q6S1PAow706BYC4JwiwfbA1sKvcooXc_gjpoMRKmd/s1600/K.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgIMNiNENdNa-Ak7ifRPG6s3HFEdjKawL6TfCgwCy-EX45j0GDxixbjx5aOWfhCrF1p9ua5-M6RAsk-9aP6d68t5v6QwP4m5Q6S1PAow706BYC4JwiwfbA1sKvcooXc_gjpoMRKmd/s1600/K.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Should you tell someone her kids are doing something you know she, as a parent, would not approve of? Before you pass on any information about her child, be sure the action or behavior you’re reporting is something that could harm the child (or another person), or is something you know the parents would not approve of. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">While you might not let your kids wear shorts if it is below 60 degrees outside, some parents let their kids wear shorts regardless of the temperature. Another example: In some families, using certain words might be acceptable, even if they are not words you allow used in your home. If you report something like this to parents and it is within their family rules, you risk sounding judgmental. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">If the child is doing something that is against the law--stealing, drinking alcohol, smoking--or putting himself or others in danger by posting her home address on an Internet chat site or talking </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDUSLiCnaqOsGZQVNn8bbt0wV7vyYdauiYb_owIve0lx2HtRR6V5LmJU20U7cm5X0gX3tlkkIC5HoM77_NJOFBWCXDoBTX0Qx1UzyNvxBjyhx-8E5Nf1vNLDLqz9YLJl9uPITfEqn/s1600/kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihDUSLiCnaqOsGZQVNn8bbt0wV7vyYdauiYb_owIve0lx2HtRR6V5LmJU20U7cm5X0gX3tlkkIC5HoM77_NJOFBWCXDoBTX0Qx1UzyNvxBjyhx-8E5Nf1vNLDLqz9YLJl9uPITfEqn/s1600/kids.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">about bringing a gun to school, you have an obligation to tell his or her parents, and the proper authorities, if necessary. <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Do not pass on any information about a child’s behavior or actions unless you actually saw the event happen or know the information is accurate. The parent’s first reaction might be to become angry with you; stay calm, reassure the parent of your intentions to protect the child, and offer to help the parent deal with the problem. Here are several ways to approach this difficult situation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Since teens have such a high rate of accidents anyway, I wanted to tell you that I saw Seymore driving well above the speed limit the other day, and he was not wearing his seatbelt.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I would want this information passed on to me if it was one of my children, so I wanted to let you know that I saw Carlie smoking with a group of kids outside of the school yesterday.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“My mother saw Dexter at the mall yesterday during school hours; she knew it was him because he was wearing his letter jacket with his name on it.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“My kids came home very upset after Leslie told them she was going to bring beer to school in her backpack tomorrow.” </span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“My children were checking out your daughter’s online profile yesterday--there are some very suggestive photos on it, along with her cell phone number.”</i> </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I don’t know if it’s actually true but you need to know that I heard that . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your kid is going to get into big trouble if you don’t start paying attention . . .” </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for the wisdom to handle the situation in a way that will protect the child. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be kind, pleasant, and non-judgmental when you talk to the parents about their child. Remind them that you told them in order to help their child. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Offer to give parents the phone number of a counselor, name of a helpful book, information about group meetings, or other resources as applicable to the situation, without being pushy. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Realize that giving the parents this information could cause tension in your friendship. Remember that you’re doing it for the safety and well-being of their child and others. </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don’t . . . </b></span><br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . pass on second, or third, or fourth hand information.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>If Someone Else’s Kids are Having Problems</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s a difficult time for a friend if her child is in trouble or having </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgly2gjOlLVKGM5__-Kso6bRGXItbL2Rh9jJVNAFiYwa_VgbsX2FfiStxrA_Ig9QoCLNOl5CWXdwmp-bmnhChyb_CMdWBqXyyXCJh27OoWaF5zzTjUs41lqjShglEWUyXBUqroF47Fs/s1600/kids2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgly2gjOlLVKGM5__-Kso6bRGXItbL2Rh9jJVNAFiYwa_VgbsX2FfiStxrA_Ig9QoCLNOl5CWXdwmp-bmnhChyb_CMdWBqXyyXCJh27OoWaF5zzTjUs41lqjShglEWUyXBUqroF47Fs/s1600/kids2.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">problems. Whether the problem is fairly minor or more serious (stealing, using drugs, being involved with a gang), parents will appreciate your support and encouragement. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You are all in our prayers.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“It must be difficult to have this going on in your life.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I know you taught her different than that; sometimes as parents we just can’t prevent things like this.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Our child went through a stage where he didn’t want to go to church and turned away from God; it only lasted a few months but seemed like much longer. Hang in there! I’m here if you want to talk about it.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“How are things with Colleen going?” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“When my kids were doing that, I . . . “ </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“A book that really helped us was . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You are doing the right thing, even though it is difficult.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I have the name of a counselor who is good with children of that age. Would you like the name and number?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“God gives our children free will to make their own decisions, no matter what we’ve taught them.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your work as a parent was not in vain.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Your children have made a lot of good choices; this is just one negative one.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Hang in there . . . this too shall pass.” </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Here’s what you need to do.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You better do something or he’ll turn into an axe murderer!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“He’s that way because . . . “ </span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Well that won’t help!”</i> (when said as a reply to what the parents are trying to do to help the child).</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for God to guide the parents to do the right thing for their </span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_J1IEOthDPfXayfMQ5a4lFTVtlgLQw8r-uQtK3Cp601SrJclt-8lQh80EuooH6suuYQZKGPUrevPxIOtb7rv2wJCXus7DeyON0fvePcxYh2Ln5RHD-79p3yNjD690a17j50_CTKRg/s1600/kids3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_J1IEOthDPfXayfMQ5a4lFTVtlgLQw8r-uQtK3Cp601SrJclt-8lQh80EuooH6suuYQZKGPUrevPxIOtb7rv2wJCXus7DeyON0fvePcxYh2Ln5RHD-79p3yNjD690a17j50_CTKRg/s1600/kids3.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">child. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Call or e-mail to offer encouragement.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Listen without judgment; allow the parent to express his or her feelings/emotions, and accept his or her feelings of anger, sadness, disappointment, fear, and so on. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Offer to go with the person to seek information, talk with a lawyer, etc. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Take younger kids in the family to the movies or park or out to eat, to give the parents some time alone together or with the child who is having problems. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . criticize what the parents are doing (or not doing).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . spread information if you don’t know it is true.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>If Your Kid is in Trouble</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b> </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We’re disappointed at the path he’s taking, but we still love him.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“That’s not how we brought him up, but he’s still our child.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We’re doing everything we can to help.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We’re keeping the details to ourselves; we’re doing everything we need to.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We are respecting our daughter’s privacy in this; please pray for her to make good decisions.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Please keep our family in your prayers.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Don’t ask about it!”</i> (Be polite about requesting your privacy.)</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for guidance to do what is best for your child.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Ask parents who have been through troubles with their children, for help.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . share any details you’re not comfortable sharing. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Have you told parents their kids are behaving badly? What did you say?</span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">-------------------------------------</span></i></b></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your
Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian
point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects
of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</a></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<br /></div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-79179992738988688062015-04-10T02:11:00.001-07:002015-04-10T02:11:44.280-07:00A to Z Blogging..."I is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Insults"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>From the series "Words Matter"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, <i>Nebraska Family Times</i></span><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbUdzgxX6c1CV1iUcxByJYSH5k1wjjmpDIl9fbqx6cvUI7OjIxDRT5jOZospvH-0-zGrJOjgqyX_-FGXlKhSFQ_Ol_Pd9fuJC5IJ6zRndjSBf_4JpwZY3JBQvcr2fIj7Fvpk9znWOt/s1600/I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbUdzgxX6c1CV1iUcxByJYSH5k1wjjmpDIl9fbqx6cvUI7OjIxDRT5jOZospvH-0-zGrJOjgqyX_-FGXlKhSFQ_Ol_Pd9fuJC5IJ6zRndjSBf_4JpwZY3JBQvcr2fIj7Fvpk9znWOt/s1600/I.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Whether it’s a group or organization you belong to, a hobby you enjoy, or something you believe in, it is hurtful (and annoying!) when someone criticizes, laughs at, or insults something important to you. Use these responses to express your feelings. </span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“That might be the case in another group, but it is not true of our group!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Why do you feel that way about my hobby?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What makes you say that?” (perhaps you can correct the person’s misperceptions). </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“That’s a very hurtful thing to say about something that is so important to me.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You’re pretty dumb if you don’t want to be part of my group.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Ask the person why she said what she did; maybe she heard <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGBqb95zL7ZTZGlyo3GSGH2Uv_o3954PYiC5VvrShyphenhyphendaqUCaSOkuc52IziEhwlbWt9syTw-4GTPdiscKAvtIFNzl5o2e9MIzHqmTaBteDry9Wt9pfwSb6Skpv1YDTbRe7iihRTrS0k/s1600/insults.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGBqb95zL7ZTZGlyo3GSGH2Uv_o3954PYiC5VvrShyphenhyphendaqUCaSOkuc52IziEhwlbWt9syTw-4GTPdiscKAvtIFNzl5o2e9MIzHqmTaBteDry9Wt9pfwSb6Skpv1YDTbRe7iihRTrS0k/s1600/insults.jpg" /></a></div>
false information, or if she’s criticizing a group, perhaps she had a bad experience with the group. If this is the case, politely correct the misconceptions. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Invite the person to a meeting of your group. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Educate the person about your hobby. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be a positive example of your group. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Give a personal account of your own experience to show why it is important/significant to you.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . try to convince someone you are correct by over-reacting or returning an insult.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>How do you reply when someone insults you? </b></span></i></div>
<i><span style="font-size: large;">--------------------------------</span></i><br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian
walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of
view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of
Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</a></span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i></i><br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-22457278411337324942015-04-09T11:24:00.000-07:002015-04-09T11:24:46.952-07:00A to Z Blogging "H is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">"...The Holy Spirit...Asking Him to Guide Your Words"</span></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></i><br />
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the <i>"Nebraska Family Times" </i>newspaper<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyM78TJbJpuTUXlFvoPsNNtPTdJTL_WrgmzEHk4b9f5TOtCEtkhcWUFFjwMQvQhQLk5HKH5pJ2pEe5UkquRfzESSsXA_4DGhVEfLTIZlsYneESUFCEcvNkZSDhqUH-rceMopkqUoV/s1600/H.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyM78TJbJpuTUXlFvoPsNNtPTdJTL_WrgmzEHk4b9f5TOtCEtkhcWUFFjwMQvQhQLk5HKH5pJ2pEe5UkquRfzESSsXA_4DGhVEfLTIZlsYneESUFCEcvNkZSDhqUH-rceMopkqUoV/s1600/H.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">How do you comfort a friend during the darkest hours of his or her life? What do you say to someone who has received devastating news? At times we’ve all been confronted with a situation that is so unexpected, or awful, that knowing what to say is beyond our experience or knowledge, despite our desire to take away some of the pain of the person who is in crisis. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Do not think that you cannot help because you are too young, or too old, too inexperienced, or have not been in the same situation as the person who is suffering. God can and does use us to comfort others, sometimes when we feel the least qualified to do so. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Romans 8:26-27 tells us that, “<i>. . . the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He Who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.“</i> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="clear: right; float: right; font-size: large; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">When you are faced with a situation and just do not know what words </span><span style="font-size: large;">to say, take a deep breath and pray for the Holy Spirit to give you the words. You don’t even have to have words to pray; He can interpret your ‘groans,’ or pleas, for the right words to come to you, through God and the Holy Spirit. </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3nqMgo94-iiEMUCUeK87OG0AqzQwmUKMXhOOB8cSfO9ZYPEwpqUVW3H-XLFQKJnPzL2l-1hyphenhyphenTA15CZZFGE3WpGt8rBIurF3BtztisNGgyqjngLCnr0uFDwyDo5DLSADg7DmUWfcby/s1600/holy+spirit+comfort.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3nqMgo94-iiEMUCUeK87OG0AqzQwmUKMXhOOB8cSfO9ZYPEwpqUVW3H-XLFQKJnPzL2l-1hyphenhyphenTA15CZZFGE3WpGt8rBIurF3BtztisNGgyqjngLCnr0uFDwyDo5DLSADg7DmUWfcby/s1600/holy+spirit+comfort.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Then, wait . . . do not hurry to reply to what your friend has said, or fill a silence. Your quiet presence will be a comfort to your friend. Listen for God’s still, small voice, urging you what to say or do, and use those words to help or comfort your friend. Or just sit quietly. Offer a hug. Click here for <a href="http://nebraskafamilytimes.blogspot.com/2015/04/a-to-z-blogging-challenge_2.html" target="_blank">"The 10 Best Things to Say When You Don't know what to Say"</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Proverbs 16:1 tells us, <i>“To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue.” </i>When the plans of our heart are to comfort someone, or talk with them about a serious situation, God knows this. If we seek Him, He will give us the right words to reply with. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Have you felt the Holy Spirit guide your words when you didn't know what to say?</span></i></b></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">-----------------------------------</span><br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian
walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of
view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of
Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Job Loss"</b></span><br />
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></i></b><br />
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor of the <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When Someone Loses His or Her Job</span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">A person’s job is a part of his or her identity, so losing a job is difficult for emotional reasons, not just financial ones. Here are some suggestions for helping a friend through this experience. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I’m so sorry!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“How are you doing?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Did you know it was coming?”</span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“What’s next?” </i> (The person might be planning to go back to school, look for a job in a completely different area, or open his<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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own business rather than looking for another job right away. Ask, so you can offer your help and support as you‘re able to.) </span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What can I do to help?” </span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“How is the job search going?”</i> (if the person is searching for another job).</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What kind of severance pay did you get?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I knew that was a bad job for you.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“How will you pay the rent, medical bills, power bill, and groceries, now that you don’t have an income?”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
What to Do</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pass on job information, as appropriate. For example, tell your friend if a suitable position is available in your company, or if you see a promising job advertised in the want-ads. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be sensitive about asking questions like,<i> “Did you send in that resume’?” “What are you doing today?” </i> The person might appreciate your friendly concern, but could see your questions as implying that he is not doing enough. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Offer your help in any area of expertise; writing or reviewing a resume‘, coaching the person on interview techniques, and so on. If you expect to be paid for typing a resume‘, make that clear before you do it. For example, mention, <i>“I wish I could do this for you for free, but I have bills! I will do it for half price, which is . . . “ </i>If you are doing it as a gift, make that clear, also. <i>“If you’d like, I’ll be happy to type up your resume’ for you, no charge. Just spread the word if you’re happy with my work!”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Let the person know with your words and actions that he is still your friend and your friendship isn’t based on him having a job.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be encouraging, but realistic, as your friend searches for a job or a new direction. If he wants to apply for a job you feel is totally inappropriate, ask questions which will lead him to think about why the job might not be appropriate for him. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . make any discouraging comments about the job market, insurance, his bills, and so on. You can be sure these issues are already a worry to your jobless friend! </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . project your expectations on the person who has lost his or her job. He might not go about a job hunt as you would, or might choose to take a completely different path than you deem a good choice. Your job is to be supportive. If you feel he is making a mistake, ask questions about what you’re worried about and gently voice your concerns. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div>
<div>
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">If You’ve Lost Your Job</span></b></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Would you please pray for . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“It was quite a shock to learn that I didn’t have a job after next <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2c0meF_PR7l0UhJWFTih32I6iW_4RTxG4zM_YnJAxRYRgYwOvnuL6cF_MyVBd63vIVbloeg03aqmz76ojO6UBbVyFEmBLwgmGXfYECkUcLbcy0GQyq4fdXaicmBoq4-oy1djRoGt/s1600/Job.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd2c0meF_PR7l0UhJWFTih32I6iW_4RTxG4zM_YnJAxRYRgYwOvnuL6cF_MyVBd63vIVbloeg03aqmz76ojO6UBbVyFEmBLwgmGXfYECkUcLbcy0GQyq4fdXaicmBoq4-oy1djRoGt/s1600/Job.jpg" /></a></div>
week!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I knew changes were coming, so it wasn’t a complete surprise.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">When people ask what they can do to help, tell them! </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“May I use your name as a reference when I fill out job applications?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I would like to get my resume’ to the right person in your office. To whom should I send it?” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Would you have time to take a look at my resume’ and give me suggestions to improve it?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I’m thinking of opening my own home business. You’ve been running your home business for several years; could we get together to talk about what it takes?”</span></i></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I know you can get me a job at your company if you really want to.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do </span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Remember to thank anyone who helps you, preferably in writing. If what they’ve done to help (like type your resume’) is part of their business, be sure to pass the information on to anyone you meet that could use the service.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Only tell people what you want to about losing a job; it‘s not necessary to divulge details if you don‘t want to. </span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . say anything negative about your old job or boss, or the people you worked with. You might be complaining to a potential employer! </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . talk negatively about your job search--that negativity will affect your attitude. </span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">What has someone said or done to help you after you've lost a job, or what did you do to help someone after he or she lost a job?</span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-79427882926016284972015-04-08T13:12:00.000-07:002015-04-08T13:12:51.879-07:00A to Z Blogging..."G is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Gossip"</b></span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">From the "Words Matter" Series</span></i><br />
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor of the <i>"Nebraska Family Times" n</i>ewspaper<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Gossip</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO2XRCTEirtJPMgifCKffC5HIjKMDCoF_4X4LCaB4opV33bsR8UqPqI2rI9cY7nORZ-i6f_LjeWHz0B7yvHjO6Y6cFip5hdwosfU7tU0BArlvqsNFS2ewCnuQB7tsP8wosVKHC3l2Z/s1600/G.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO2XRCTEirtJPMgifCKffC5HIjKMDCoF_4X4LCaB4opV33bsR8UqPqI2rI9cY7nORZ-i6f_LjeWHz0B7yvHjO6Y6cFip5hdwosfU7tU0BArlvqsNFS2ewCnuQB7tsP8wosVKHC3l2Z/s1600/G.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Gossip seems harmless, but if you’ve ever been the victim of gossip, you know how hurtful words can be. God considers it a serious enough topic that there are many Bible verses warning against it (among them Lev. 19:16, Pro. 26:20, 22, and Eph. 4:29). Despite His warnings, it’s easy to get caught up in gossip almost without realizing it. If you are with someone, or a group of someones, and gossip begins, here are a few ways to stop it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I would not want people talking about the private details of my life, especially if there’s no way they could know what’s really going on. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and not speculate.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Try humor; <i>“Gosh, I’d hate to hear what you say about me when I’m not here! Let’s change the subject--how do you like the weather?” </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“My New Year’s resolution is to only say good things about other people. Do you want to join me in that resolution?”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I don’t think it’s fair to talk about her when she’s not here to give her side of what happened.”</i> Then change the subject; <i>“So, how was your weekend?”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Oh, my, look at the time! I’ve got to get back to work on that project.”</i> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If someone tries to tantalize you by hinting that she knows the details of the latest scandal, reply, <i>“Well, I guess we’ll all know soon enough, won’t we?”</i> and change the subject.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Have you ever caught yourself in the center of a group of people who are waiting to hear the juicy gossip that’s about to come out of your mouth?</b> Here’s how to rescue yourself from that situation.</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Wait a minute--I know better than to spread gossip. Let’s<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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change the subject--what are you doing this weekend?”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Oh, no, I just heard my mom’s voice saying, </i>“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” and <i>I better listen to her!”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Dramatically clap your hand over your mouth and say, <i>“A very non-Christian thing almost came out of my mouth--good thing my conscience is attached to my hand!”</i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Oh, please, tell me all the juicy details!” </i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Let me tell you everything I know!”</i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Talk in a serious tone of voice, with a solemn look on your face, when you try to stop gossip. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Walk away if gossip starts, or continues after you’ve tried to change the subject.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don’t . . .</b> </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . even listen to gossip; by doing so you are saying with your actions that it’s OK to gossip.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . ignore gossip if it is about a friend (see next section).</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Should You Tell Someone She’s Being Gossiped About?</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Immediately refute any gossip about someone else, that you know to be false. Here are a few ways to do so. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b> </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I am her friend and I know that is absolutely untrue.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I would not want people talking about the private details of my life, especially if there’s no way they could know what’s really going on. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and not speculate.”</i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What Not to Say</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“Oh, what else did you hear? Tell me all the details!”</i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What to Do</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Walk away if the gossip continues.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don’t . . . </b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . repeat the gossip. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Before you tell someone they are the subject of gossip, ask yourself if doing so will help that person.</b> If what is being said is harmless--<i>”What a haircut!”</i> or, <i>“I wouldn’t carry around a purse like that!”</i>--there is no reason to repeat it to her; it would just be hurtful and there’s nothing she did to cause the gossip or can do to prevent it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">However, if your friend’s actions are fueling gossip, you might want to draw her attention to her actions and the impression they are giving. In this case, not telling her could cause harm by hurting her reputation or family or even jeopardizing her job. Tell her gently, in private, how her actions appear. Be prepared for her to be upset, but reassure her you are telling her because of your concern for her well-being. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I know you’re friends with the boss; in the cafeteria yesterday several people were speculating that you’re having an affair with him. Of course I assured them that you are not, but I wanted you to know how your actions around him look to some people.”</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“I don’t know why your friendship with Chris ended, but she is saying that you borrowed money and did not pay it back. That does not sound like something you would do! Do you mind telling me what really happened so I can set people straight?”</i></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What Not to Say</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Tell me all the details of what happened with you and the boss, so I can pass them on.” </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>What to Do</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray that your friend would realize how her actions appear. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Reassure your friend of your support and friendship. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don’t . . .</b> </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . share the names of the people doing the gossiping. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . repeat the gossip to anyone else!</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
------------------------------------<br />
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian
walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of
view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of
Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-88228335064841693802015-04-07T12:35:00.000-07:002015-04-07T12:36:03.783-07:00A to Z Blogging..."F is For..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"...Favors...Offering Favors and Asking For a Favor" </b></span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, <i>"Nebraska Family Times" </i>newspaper</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Offering a Favor</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxMhqLtprJ1bBYJA3DCMzLEBPJVn4jwNeH_WzsKV5sajh3E2kck1QcIe2ePl2uWSAlMRhMtNf9tRx7ZNFWlQlgFpwE9BFcToDE0jpLCuO70XLl1qgLRLbldNlbzSEIOnqP9ax7-Odj/s1600/F.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxMhqLtprJ1bBYJA3DCMzLEBPJVn4jwNeH_WzsKV5sajh3E2kck1QcIe2ePl2uWSAlMRhMtNf9tRx7ZNFWlQlgFpwE9BFcToDE0jpLCuO70XLl1qgLRLbldNlbzSEIOnqP9ax7-Odj/s1600/F.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Remember that the people who need a favor the most are often reluctant, embarrassed, or ashamed to have to ask. In times of crisis, people might not even think to ask for help. Be alert to situations where your offer of a favor could bless someone. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“I would like to do ____________ for you.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“What can I do that would help you the most?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“I will come over tomorrow and help you clean your house.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“I can pick up the kids and watch them tomorrow; when I bring them back I’ll bring supper, if that‘s OK with you.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Offer to do specific tasks, especially if the person is in the midst of a crisis; </i></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUCWYXckVg5KeObUkfEnImHisXUqkczkqW2BvsQDxLc3EbKqzZvMm7_T-A_qt042ovy6_8dG5qn4BEaKKLso1pWd1g2sEeroSN6ymKdcDub9H9danbhsnwF1CZM6hDWMdHPoYY07GB/s1600/favor2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUCWYXckVg5KeObUkfEnImHisXUqkczkqW2BvsQDxLc3EbKqzZvMm7_T-A_qt042ovy6_8dG5qn4BEaKKLso1pWd1g2sEeroSN6ymKdcDub9H9danbhsnwF1CZM6hDWMdHPoYY07GB/s1600/favor2.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Google Images</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Do you have someone to stay with the baby during the funeral? I will be available.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Can I pick up some groceries for you? What do you need most?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Are there any phone calls I can make?”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span>
What Not to Say</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>“What can I do for you?” </i> (Offering to do something specific is better.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>“Let me know if you need anything.”</i> (The person might not feel comfortable asking you for something, or might not even know what to ask for.) </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">What to Do</span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Offer to do specific tasks that the person might be too overwhelmed to do, or even think of asking you to do.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">If you know the person well enough to know that it won’t upset or offend her, just do what needs to be done, like laundry, cooking, or cleaning. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">. . . do so much that the person feels uncomfortable with all that you are doing for her or becomes dependent on your constant help. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">. . . insist on doing a favor if the person strenuously objects or repeatedly tells you not to. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">(For suggestions for turning down a request for a favor, stay tuned to the A to Z Blogging Challenge where "N is for...How and When to say "NO"". Sign up on the right sidebar to receive new posts by e-mail!)</span></i></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Asking for a Favor</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Sometimes it’s hard to ask for a favor, but when you truly </span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjbuiN7jcBn2nD9qE2ea2oVyl4ZwQXJoIvnHQ8x4dfvrj-paMpk0fjZPap1WVGSsgqV31qSKaMNfwCrVVx93A-Yf442zoDEQsmOlA6MzG3tSAsljDtIlcljrfBSx_nvB6-_-7gUo7W/s1600/Favor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjbuiN7jcBn2nD9qE2ea2oVyl4ZwQXJoIvnHQ8x4dfvrj-paMpk0fjZPap1WVGSsgqV31qSKaMNfwCrVVx93A-Yf442zoDEQsmOlA6MzG3tSAsljDtIlcljrfBSx_nvB6-_-7gUo7W/s1600/Favor.jpg" height="136" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Google Images</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">need one, friends will probably be more than happy to help you out if they can. Remember that it is a blessing to be able to help someone; when you ask for help, you are giving that person the opportunity to bless you, which in turn is a blessing to her. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>What to Say </b> </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“I have a favor to ask you, but I understand if you can’t help me.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“It’s difficult for me to ask for this, but it’s really important. Please be honest if it’s not something you want to do.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Could you help me out? I was wondering if you would . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>“Would you have the time to look over my resume’ and give me any suggestions as to how to put it together?”</i> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">If you feel it’s appropriate, provide details; <i>“My husband and I are going through a tough time. We’re seeing a counselor tomorrow afternoon; could you watch the kids for a few hours?” </i></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Consider a trade-off:</i></span><br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“As a favor, could you watch my kids Saturday morning? In turn, I’ll watch your kids any morning next week.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">What Not to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>“What are you doing next weekend?”</i> (Don’t put the person on the spot about their plans before asking for your favor.)</span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Since I helped you with that favor last year, now it’s your turn. I need you to . . . "</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Pray about who to ask to do the favor for you. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Explain what the favor is, when you need it by, and other details, when you ask for the favor. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">Be clear about when you’d like an answer so you can make other arrangements if necessary. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">. . . imply that the person “owes” you, even if you have done many favors for him. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">. . . press for an immediate answer unless you really need the answer right away, and if so, apologize for the short notice. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-large;">. . . be vague about what the favor is. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">--------------</span><br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">This post is an excerpt
from <span style="color: #ed7d31; font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif; mso-themecolor: accent2;">“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Segoe Script",sans-serif;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span>Coming soon!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">The mission of the
“Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian
walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of
view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of
Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at </span></b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/"><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com</span></b></a><b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">,<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: x-large;">where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-30827807105733096882015-04-04T13:47:00.000-07:002015-04-04T13:47:36.251-07:00A to Z Blogging "D is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">...Dysfunctional Family Members, Guidelines for Dealing With</span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">From the series "Words Matter"</span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvzAZ4Klop5-tfuXuT89f1e4Cij7A81oSi8EwODKH9RrCpNTduz3VUsL5uhzGc3-ncfIb2w6JQaRTADyu7caxKc_1ijFPlBF6hNb5Yz5rSi3TYR7F81FAc4ArOu_7NIuWa46HA0wrM/s1600/D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvzAZ4Klop5-tfuXuT89f1e4Cij7A81oSi8EwODKH9RrCpNTduz3VUsL5uhzGc3-ncfIb2w6JQaRTADyu7caxKc_1ijFPlBF6hNb5Yz5rSi3TYR7F81FAc4ArOu_7NIuWa46HA0wrM/s1600/D.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Most families have some sort of dysfunction; some families put the “fun” into dysfunction, while others put the “funk” into dysfunction! Some people (and the situations that arise because of their dysfunction) are amusing, some are annoying, and some are harmful to other family members. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Consider one of the pillars of the Christian faith, Abraham. He lied several times that his wife was actually his sister. When his wife Sarah could not have a baby, she encouraged Abraham to have a baby with her servant, Hagar. Later Isaac fathered sons Esau and Jacob. Rebekah, Isaac's wife, favored Jacob, and encouraged him to lie so he would receive the birthright that belonged to Esau. There are many examples of family dysfunction in the Bible. The lesson is that dysfunctional families have been around literally since God created us; Adam blamed Eve for the first sin and Eve blamed the serpent. Adam and Eve's sons didn't get along and ultimately Cain killed his brother Abel. Despite their dysfunction and ours, God loves and forgives. (These narratives are found in Genesis 4, 20-22, 25-27</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Before you approach a family member about his or her actions and behaviors, ask yourself if the potential upheaval that confronting the issue is worth it. This depends on many factors. Does this member of the family live far away or close to you? Do you see him often or rarely? Do positive character traits outweigh the negative? Is the person’s behavior merely annoying, or truly destructive to one or more family members? Does the family allow the behaviors to continue, perpetuating the hurt? Even family members should not be permitted to be involved in your life to the extent or in a manner of causing damage to another’s physical and/or emotional health. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">If you see the problem-causing person frequently, and the behavior </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ3tuhTUKkOYXsPIEi69IUSX1kzxku79N_xQBjhccbEsds0bOdEExVgIhztslrNQRjE8Mfxk8hpE4Ms_B5iZgyFtJTH-bhdnAXaHqicE6NLu-4KEnXOk9hjVdDyb3avc8lqQlbWjzQ/s1600/dysfunctional.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ3tuhTUKkOYXsPIEi69IUSX1kzxku79N_xQBjhccbEsds0bOdEExVgIhztslrNQRjE8Mfxk8hpE4Ms_B5iZgyFtJTH-bhdnAXaHqicE6NLu-4KEnXOk9hjVdDyb3avc8lqQlbWjzQ/s1600/dysfunctional.jpg" height="97" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">occurs often, or is very hurtful to other family members, you may feel you have to take action to protect your family. Do not hesitate to stand up for yourself, your family or other extended family members, or your beliefs. Future negative memories are not worth ‘keeping the peace.’ </span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">On the other hand, if the behavior is more irritating than hurtful, or if you rarely see the person, or if his or her positive characteristics that outweigh the negative, it may be better to tolerate it during the infrequent times you are together. You can do this with ‘superficial friendliness‘--greet the person politely, make a few minutes of small talk, as required, and then manage to keep your distance from the person. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>General Guidelines for Dealing with Dysfunctional Family Members</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Say</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray about talking with a family member about unacceptable behaviors, or resolving past misunderstandings, before you get together for an event. </span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Uncle Jim, I know you love to tell jokes, but some are really off-color, and our kids are getting old enough to understand and repeat them. Could you please keep it G-rated at our Thanksgiving dinner next week? We would really appreciate it.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“My children and the other little ones at family dinners get very upset when you tease them about their hair color or being overweight. I know you don’t mean to hurt their feelings, but you do with those comments. This year at the reunion, could you please not do that? The kids would love for you to ask them how their softball team is doing, or about our vacation. Thank you for understanding!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“What happened between us was a long time ago. Can we start with a clean slate at the family get-together next month?”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I want to apologize for my part in our misunderstanding last year. I would like to try to repair our friendship and hope we can start at the family dinner next week.” </span></i></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>If old issues or disagreements come up during an event, try these replies:</b></span><br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Let’s just not talk about that, but celebrate the wedding. That‘s what we‘re here for.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Let’s enjoy being together and not talk about old hurts now.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I’m sorry you’re still angry about what happened, but I cannot change it. I just want to get along for the sake of our parents and kids.”</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say (even when you're tempted to!):</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You’re such a jerk!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You’ve been this way since we were kids!”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You always act this way.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Mom and dad always let you get away with everything. That’s why you are like this.”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq1Jj_YTFAbdzW4V10pZBe84wtObJkjF1YjwSJ_kekCL6VeXIOQvWfZJRWQF_il2YCmL8RulBMbixfDQg6G6lG2MUKBCx5dBuCzIsYykwkUHOmBosXgnfO1-f1qheedyfduK3M2e-v/s1600/Dysfunctional+family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq1Jj_YTFAbdzW4V10pZBe84wtObJkjF1YjwSJ_kekCL6VeXIOQvWfZJRWQF_il2YCmL8RulBMbixfDQg6G6lG2MUKBCx5dBuCzIsYykwkUHOmBosXgnfO1-f1qheedyfduK3M2e-v/s1600/Dysfunctional+family.jpg" height="200" width="171" /></a></div>
</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“It’s all your fault that our family is like this.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I still can’t believe you did that to me 20 years ago . . . “</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do:</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Pray for guidance about what to say and do, and for patience, kindness, and understanding in dealing with the issue. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Tell the truth with love and kindness. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Plan ahead for what you’ll do and say if certain situations occur; you might try to diffuse an argument, separate people who are arguing, step away from someone who is harassing you, etc. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be proactive; enlist other family members to either help resolve disputes or separate trouble-makers if disputes start at a get-together. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t . . . </span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . fall into old patterns with family members. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . have unrealistic expectations of family members changing or getting along, even if you‘ve talked with the people involved and the conflicts seem to be resolved.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . be afraid to make a scene if necessary, if someone is being hurt physically or emotionally.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>What's your best hint for dealing with a difficult family member?</i></b></span></div>
<div>
--------------</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
This post is an excerpt from <span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"><span style="color: red;">“What
Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky
Uncomfortable Situations” </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
Coming soon! Download “What
Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable
situations! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>The mission of the “Nebraska
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walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of
view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of
Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-38492517160845380042015-04-03T11:16:00.000-07:002015-04-06T16:22:38.478-07:00A to Z Blogging Challenge "E is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">...Expressing your Personal Beliefs and Choices </span></b><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">From the Series "Words Matter" </span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>newspaper</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1j1Owy8Up9XoJgLGcQuL2UcoMorPezfqaTSiCR2osduGX_YhaaRKVv1M6yLU0KlJe2DykqumU-WogrI1GD6vaiJE7eousKIeMpmXE3ZVGP3tAJnZuribVwCWJ-kgaCYZ6a7KZ4uqT/s1600/E.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1j1Owy8Up9XoJgLGcQuL2UcoMorPezfqaTSiCR2osduGX_YhaaRKVv1M6yLU0KlJe2DykqumU-WogrI1GD6vaiJE7eousKIeMpmXE3ZVGP3tAJnZuribVwCWJ-kgaCYZ6a7KZ4uqT/s1600/E.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Every person and family is unique in regards to its beliefs and practices of day-to-day life. What people eat, wear, do in their free time, how late the kids stay up, if they recycle, how much TV they watch, whether they send their kids to public, private, parochial school or home school, if they do or don’t drink alcohol or smoke, and countless other details, make every family distinctive.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">For the most part, these personal quirks and details of family life are unnoticed by others, or are accepted as just part of that family’s lifestyle. Occasionally you might be asked about, or even challenged on, details of your lifestyle. Here are a few non-confrontational replies.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I don’t eat sugary snacks. I don’t feel good after eating them, so I avoid them.”</span></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“We don’t like to expose our kids to violence or sexually explicit movies, so we don’t watch the</i><i>m.” </i></span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We’ve decided that our kids won’t watch TV during the day.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I just don’t eat eggs.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We've done the research and decided to keep meat in our diet.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I recycle whenever I can.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“I don’t recycle because there are no collection centers near here.” </span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“For our kids, private/parochial/public/home school is the best option for their education.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“That’s just one of my quirks.”</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“It’s part of my lifestyle to do it that way.” </span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXoOuvNgRp3nXHoCNrJTCYZHiP__PZJJOhbizdZOPN_pEaGlOnv_ZlJAc_ES-BLWqTuPuk_J7-zwaugWpKkzOr7FxGKOS2KT1iUPAdbyfLmHSEYCng9_nkoFWqqrem5u7rtEngA-KB/s1600/Expressing+Family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXoOuvNgRp3nXHoCNrJTCYZHiP__PZJJOhbizdZOPN_pEaGlOnv_ZlJAc_ES-BLWqTuPuk_J7-zwaugWpKkzOr7FxGKOS2KT1iUPAdbyfLmHSEYCng9_nkoFWqqrem5u7rtEngA-KB/s1600/Expressing+Family.jpg" height="158" width="200" /></span></a><b style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">What Not to Say:</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><i>“If you were responsible, you’d do what I do.” </i>(Being judgmental or harsh won’t encourage anyone to follow your lifestyle.)</span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You really should be responsible and . . . “</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You should never/always. . . “</span></i></li>
</ul>
<br />
<b style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">What to Do</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Be matter-of-fact about your beliefs and practices.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Say these things in a matter-of-fact, non-judgmental manner. You don’t have to give detailed reasons for your beliefs (you don‘t have to give any reasons at all!). </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">If you want to educate others on aspects of your lifestyle, use solid information, not scare tactics. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Don’t . . .</span></b> </span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . be in-your-face or pushy about your beliefs and practices.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">. . . be judgmental about others’ practices or habits; talk with them politely and in private if you have concerns. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">----------------------------------</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt from <span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"><span style="color: red;">“What
Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky
Uncomfortable Situations” </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"><span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Coming soon! Download <i>“What
Should I Say”</i> and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable
situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the “Nebraska
Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian
walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of
view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of
Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><b>I am also
taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</a></b>
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<span style="font-family: Bradley Hand ITC;"><b>Click to read "Lifehacks for Christan Moms" </b></span></div>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436929195965153352.post-5127209308815381682015-04-03T08:46:00.002-07:002015-04-03T09:04:16.628-07:00A to Z Blogging Challenge "C is for..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">...Comments and Questions; Rude, Critical or Obnoxious, How to Respond</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>From the series "Words Matter"</i> </span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, <i>Nebraska Family Times </i>Newspaper</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB87N7spvuiRBEuCGWa75PMj0t7OkL5c2p8kOxWTN6jCqMw02NuAJ5D5ArnzVIrWjeP7ehblPhSS6k0KRYdJ0Pe45R1iAqZWCksn-XWP_XYLhTNFUYTe86uLikzDR9bs4Xdo57CVpO/s1600/C.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB87N7spvuiRBEuCGWa75PMj0t7OkL5c2p8kOxWTN6jCqMw02NuAJ5D5ArnzVIrWjeP7ehblPhSS6k0KRYdJ0Pe45R1iAqZWCksn-XWP_XYLhTNFUYTe86uLikzDR9bs4Xdo57CVpO/s1600/C.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">When people make a rude, critical or obnoxious comment it's usually unintentional and not meant to offend or criticize the recipient of the comment. However, some people consistently go too far with their improper comments and questions. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Consider the circumstances before you make your reply. If the comment comes from a stranger who just left her manners at home, answer (or ignore it) with a smile. However, if the person who made the remark has a history of asking overly-personal questions or making hurtful comments, you might choose to offer a stronger response. Whatever your approach, do it in a spirit of Christian love and grace. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What to Say</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">With a disbelieving expression and a polite, surprised tone, ask, </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">"WHAT did you just say?" </i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">(Sometimes when a person repeats the comment he will realize how inappropriate it was.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>"Wow! What a question! There is no right answer to that one!"</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>"That's kind of an inappropriate thing to say to me..."</i></span></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">"That's something I'm not going to talk about."</span></i></li>
<li><i><span style="font-size: large;">"I don't discuss that with anyone but my family."</span></i></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What not to Say (even when you are tempted to)</b></span></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>"You are a horrible person to say something like that. I don't ever want to hear you do that again."</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>"Obviously your mother didn't teach you any manners!"</i></span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>What to Do</b></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Try silence and an "<i>I cannot believe you just said that" </i>look with eyes and mouth wide open and eyebrows raised. Perhaps the person will realize the inappropriateness of the remark.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Remain pleasant and kind; you can make your point with kindness and grace.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Change the subject without acknowledging the comment. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Don't...</b></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">...respond by returning and insult or rude comment.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">...reply to a rude or obnoxious question or comment if you don't want to.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><i>What is YOUR best response to a rude, inappropriate or critical question or comment? </i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">-----------------------------------------</span></div>
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This post is an excerpt from <span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"><span style="color: red;">“What
Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky
Uncomfortable Situations” </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Segoe Script","sans-serif";"><span style="font-size: large;">by Shelly Burke, RN. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Coming soon! Download “What
Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable
situations! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">______________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The mission of the “Nebraska
Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian
walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of
view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of
Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12
issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27<sup>th</sup> St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I am also
taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><a href="http://www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide</a></b></span>
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Editor and Publisher Shelly Burkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13549811506536666763noreply@blogger.com2