Friday, April 3, 2015

A to Z Blogging Challenge "E is for..."

...Expressing your Personal Beliefs and Choices 
From the Series "Words Matter" 
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the Nebraska Family Times newspaper


Every person and family is unique in regards to its beliefs and practices of day-to-day life. What people eat, wear, do in their free time, how late the kids stay up, if they recycle, how much TV they watch, whether they send their kids to public, private, parochial school or home school, if they do or don’t drink alcohol or smoke, and countless other details, make every family distinctive.

For the most part, these personal quirks and details of family life are unnoticed by others, or are accepted as just part of that family’s lifestyle. Occasionally you might be asked about, or even challenged on, details of your lifestyle. Here are a few non-confrontational replies.

What to Say

  • “I don’t eat sugary snacks. I don’t feel good after eating them, so I avoid them.”
  • “We don’t like to expose our kids to violence or sexually explicit movies, so we don’t watch them.”  
  • “We’ve decided that our kids won’t watch TV during the day.”
  • “I just don’t eat eggs.”
  • “We've done the research and decided to keep meat in our diet.” 
  • “I recycle whenever I can.” 
  • “I don’t recycle because there are no collection centers near here.” 
  • “For our kids, private/parochial/public/home school is the best option for their education.”
  • “That’s just one of my quirks.”
  • “It’s part of my lifestyle to do it that way.” 

What Not to Say:

  • “If you were responsible, you’d do what I do.” (Being judgmental or harsh won’t encourage anyone to follow your lifestyle.)
  • “You really should be responsible and . . . “
  • “You should never/always. . . “

What to Do

  • Be matter-of-fact about your beliefs and practices.
  • Say these things in a matter-of-fact, non-judgmental manner. You don’t have to give detailed reasons for your beliefs (you don‘t have to give any reasons at all!).  
  • If you want to educate others on aspects of your lifestyle, use solid information, not scare tactics. 

Don’t . . . 

  • . . . be in-your-face or pushy about your beliefs and practices.
  • . . . be judgmental about others’ practices or habits; talk with them politely and in private if you have concerns. 


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This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” 
by Shelly Burke, RN. 
Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!
______________________________________________________

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.


I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 
Click to read "Lifehacks for Christan Moms" 


A to Z Blogging Challenge "C is for..."

...Comments and Questions; Rude, Critical or Obnoxious, How to Respond
From the series "Words Matter" 
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, Nebraska Family Times Newspaper


When people make a rude, critical or obnoxious comment it's usually unintentional and not meant to offend or criticize the recipient of the comment. However, some people consistently go too far with their improper comments and questions. 

Consider the circumstances before you make your reply. If the comment comes from a stranger who just left her manners at home, answer (or ignore it) with a smile. However, if the person who made the remark has a history of asking overly-personal questions or making hurtful comments, you might choose to offer a stronger response. Whatever your approach, do it in a spirit of Christian love and grace. 

What to Say

  • With a disbelieving expression and a polite, surprised tone, ask, "WHAT did you just say?" (Sometimes when a person repeats the comment he will realize how inappropriate it was.)
  • "Wow! What a question! There is no right answer to that one!"
  • "That's kind of an inappropriate thing to say to me..."
  • "That's something I'm not going to talk about."
  • "I don't discuss that with anyone but my family."
What not to Say (even when you are tempted to)
  • "You are a horrible person to say something like that. I don't ever want to hear you do that again."
  • "Obviously your mother didn't teach you any manners!"
What to Do
  • Try silence and an "I cannot believe you just said that" look with eyes and mouth wide open and eyebrows raised. Perhaps the person will realize the inappropriateness of the remark.
  • Remain pleasant and kind; you can make your point with kindness and grace.
  • Change the subject without acknowledging the comment. 
Don't...
  • ...respond by returning and insult or rude comment.
  • ...reply to a rude or obnoxious question or comment if you don't want to.
What is YOUR best response to a rude, inappropriate or critical question or comment? 
-----------------------------------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” 
by Shelly Burke, RN. 
Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!
______________________________________________________

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at