...Other Children and Your Child Not Getting Along"
From the series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, Nebraska Family Times newspaper
In every young child’s life there seems to be, on occasion, a child who hits, kicks or bites; doesn’t share; screams or spits, and generally makes it difficult for your child to enjoy his company. The situation is made worse if the other child’s parents do not make their child behave in a socially acceptable manner. Here are some tactful ways to try to remedy the situation.
From the series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, Nebraska Family Times newspaper
What to Say
- To the parent; “My child is a bit intimidated by your child’s yelling and screaming while they are playing. Could you talk with him about that before he comes over?”
- To the child (in front of the parent if possible); “We have a new rule at our house; no calling names. Anyone who does has to sit in the time-out chair. This includes moms, dads, and visitors.”
- If the situation is not improving, say to the parent, “Our children just don’t seem to be enjoying each other’s company lately. Let’s take a break from play-dates for awhile. I’m sure it’s just a stage and they’ll enjoy playing together again soon.”
What Not to Say
- “You’re just not disciplining your child like you should be. If you were, he wouldn’t be acting this way.”
- “Your kid is a brat and terrorizes other kids.”
- If the issues causing you discomfort are differences in parenting style (how the parents discipline their child, for example), be careful not to sound judgmental.
- Remember that what you say or do could potentially damage your relationship with the child’s parents and your child’s friendship.
- If you feel the friendship is not healthy for your child, or your child no longer wants to spend time with the child, gently cut off play-dates. Don’t invite the child over for play-dates, and politely decline play-date invitations. If you do this several times, the friendship will probably gradually fade out. If the invitations continue, you might want to say something like, “This summer will be very busy for us; we won’t have time for play-dates.” “We’ve been so busy lately, we’ve decided to just concentrate on family things for awhile. I’ll let you know when we’re ready for play-dates again.”
- If the offending child’s home life is chaotic, contact with your family might be the only stability in the child’s life. Keep this fact in mind when you consider cutting off play-dates.
Don’t . . .
- . . . overreact to minor skirmishes or disagreements between children.
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This post is an excerpt
from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and
Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations”
by Shelly Burke, RN. Coming soon!
Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared
for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!
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I am also taking the Blogging A to Z
Challenge at
where the theme is
“Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”
Great post!
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