7 Steps to Escaping Temptation 
By Shelly Burke, Editor 

God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 
1 Corinthians 10:13

To receive your FREE Scripture
Memory Card, see previous post!

Temptations are part of living in a world full of sin. However, we are not powerless in the face of temptation. While God doesn’t promise that we won’t be tempted, in this verse he does promise us a way out. However, we have to be active in resisting sin; God probably will not whisk you away to a safe place or cause an earthquake for distraction! 

Here are some ways to be active in preparing for temptation: 

1. Know your boundaries. Scripture gives us many absolute  boundaries; we are not to lie, steal, gossip, have sex outside of marriage, murder, or curse. When you have it in your mind that you will not do these things, based on God’s Word, you are much less likely to give in. 

2. Define your boundaries. Some boundaries are not absolute. Where limits are not specified in the Bible, determine your own limits. The Bible doesn’t forbid watching TV or listening to music or reading as long as it doesn’t lead us to sin, or distract us from Him. Ask God for discernment in choosing these activities. 

3. Avoid temptation. Do everything you can not to even be in a situation in which you’ll be tempted. Discuss limits if you are dating. Don’t be alone with a guy or girl if you’ll be tempted sexually. Avoid the breakroom at work if there is only negative talk and gossip among the people who are in there. 

4. Plan what you will do when you are in a tempting situation. Despite attempts to avoid temptation, at some point you will probably find yourself in a less-than-optimal situation. What will you do? Depending on the circumstances, you may choose to leave the situation quietly, speak up for your beliefs, or explain your beliefs. In some situations you might have to take dramatic action, like quitting a job in which you’re expected to lie or cheat. You might decide to stop hanging out with friends who cheat on their spouses. 

5. Pray. Ask God to give you the wisdom to know how to get out of the situation. Ask Him for the words to say and action to take. Ask Him to keep you strong. 

6. Role play with your kids. They face temptation too! Teach them at a young age what God’s Word says they should not do. Talk about copying homework, bullying other kids, stealing, sexual temptation, pornography, explicit books and movies, alcohol and drugs, playing violent video games, and so on. Define your limits (which are their limits too) and be firm in enforcing them. Talk about situations in which they might find themselves, and how they can “escape”. Discuss the importance of choosing friends with similar values. 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns, “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.”   Some parents have an agreement in which if the child calls and says “Can you pick me up?” or gives a code word, the parent will, without question, pick them up and remove them from the situation. Our kids could tell their friends, “If I do that my mom will ground me for six months!” because it was the truth!  

7. Remember—God forgives! We can all relate to the words of Paul in the book of Romans: “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:19) God forgives, just for the asking, any and all of our sins. He provides a way of escape for us, but He also knows that in our sinful nature, we will still sin. And He forgives. 

To receive your FREE Scripture Memory Challenge verse card for the month, and for the rest of the year, send your name and address to 
shelly@shellyburke.net or 
Nebraska Family Times, 209 27th St., Columbus, NE 68601. $10 suggested donation to cover postage costs.  

"Raising Godly Girls" book review

A great resource for moms of girls of any age!

I'm so happy to announced the release of "Raising Godly Girls" by my good friend Deb Burma! 

If God has blessed you with the gift of a daughter (or daughters), He has entrusted you with both a huge task and a sometimes overwhelming privilege. In Raising Godly Girls, author Deb Burma comprehensively covers the wide range of issues related to faith and related to “the world”, that raising a daughter involves. 

Raising Godly Girls stands out among parenting books as a resource that moms can begin using at any time--when their girls are toddlers or almost all grown up--and refer back to again and again. As well as encouraging readers to incorporate faith into every aspect of the lives of their “princesses of the King” Raising Godly Girls directly addresses tricky, sensitive and uncomfortable topics that girls of all ages face today, including the pressure to dress and act sexually, body image and developing good character. Raising Godly Girls also recognizes the vital need for girls to have faith and the Lord infused in every aspect of their lives, through prayer, Bible study, devotions, and worship.

While Deb offers a wide variety of “real life” suggestions for facing the “real world” problems of today (she realizes that each family is unique),  she always guides us back to the best parenting book—the Bible. Through specific verses and narratives from Scripture, Deb shows us what the Lord desires of us as examples for our girls (and everyone around us) and how He desires them to act—“in the world but not of the world”.

For example, Deb shares how devotion time in their own home changed throughout the years as the kids (one princess, Courtney, who was integral in the development of this book, and two princes, her brothers) grew and schedules became busier. Deb also encourages moms who are new Christians, or perhaps have recently renewed their commitment to their faith, that it’s not “too late” to incorporate faith in their kids’ lives.

Raising Godly Girls is written in Deb Burma’s unique conversational style, filled with personal stories and anecdotes, and packed with scripture and encouragement on every page. She shares scenarios that all readers can relate to— like the hectic shopping trip with energetic toddlers after which she forgot to drive through the pick-up lane to pick up her groceries.

After presenting an issue specific to raising our girls, every chapter wraps up with three sections that show readers how apply the information in that chapter.   

•   Don’t Conform, Be Transformed helps readers apply the truths of that chapter with encouragement to live “in, but not of, the world.”
•    Word of Grace reassures us that our mistakes and sins, and the sins of our daughters—of long ago or of that very day--are forgiven through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
•           Show and Tell provides leads us to look inside ourselves to evaluate our own actions and motivations and gives concrete examples, from Deb and her daughter, Courtney, on whose experiences growing up Deb drew from extensively, for moms to show and tell her daughter the truths of that chapter. 

         To read more by Deb Burma, and to see where she will be speaking, go to her website Fragrant Offerings. To order "Raising Godly Girls" go to www.cph.org. 

A to Z Blogging "W is for..."

"...Worst Things to say in Any Situation"
From the Series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, Nebraska Family Times Newspaper

Sometimes we’re tempted to use these phrases because we’re so uncomfortable with a grieving or suffering person’s emotions. Resist the temptation and do not say them! Instead, use one of the phrases on the next page, which will be much more comforting and helpful.

• “I know just EXACTLY how you feel!” (No, you don't know "exactly" how someone feels...even if the circumstances seem the same, they are not, and people do not react to or feel the same way even in similar circumstances.)
• “Don’t worry, it will all work out perfectly and everything will be just fine.” (You don't know this and can't promise it.)
• “Here’s what you need to do . . . “ (You don't know all the details, and even if you do, it's not your place to say what someone "needs" to do.)
• “It can’t be THAT bad!” (To the person it is happening to, YES it CAN be that bad!)
• “Get over it! You‘ve felt that way long enough.” (There is no timetable for grief. Grief after a death, divorce, or other life-changing event, will be life-long.)
• “You’ve grieved enough.” (How do you know what "enough"
  
  is?)
• “You’re not grieving in the ‘right’ way.” (What is the "right" way to grieve??? If you're concerned about how someone is reacting to grief, talk with a professional before confronting them. And do so in a kinder way.)
• “Don’t feel that way!” (There is no right or wrong way to "feel".)
• “Don’t say that!” (We say this because we are uncomfortable; it is a blessing to allow someone to share all of their thoughts and have them be accepted by the listener without judgement.)
• “Don’t cry!” (Again, we say this because we are uncomfortable seeing someone grieve. Push aside your own discomfort and give the person the blessing of letting her cry without judgement.) 

Click here for the The Best Things to Say in Any Situation
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The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide, 

where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”

Blogging A to Z on Throwback Thursday, "T is for..."

A to Z Blogging: T is for...Thoughts

By Shelly Burke, Editor

(This post originally appeared on April 23, 2013. I needed this reminder today and pray it blesses you as well!)

For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ…” 2 Corin. 10:5

My thoughts, especially in the middle of the night, can take me to scary places. “What if I lose my jobs—both of them…can’t get another nursing job of any kind anywhere in the whole state (or country!)… and I eat alllllllllll of the food in my cupboards….still don’t have a job so get evicted…and my Envoy breaks down….so I have to have it towed down by the river so I can live in an Envoy, down by the river…?(Like whatever that song is, about “ living in a van, down by the river”).

Or, even darker…”What if I can’t get insurance when our COBRA runs out…and then I get cancer (I’ve had two friends diagnosed with breast cancer in the last few weeks)…and I’m all alone…and NONE of my friends will take me to ANY appointments…and anyway I’m living in my broken-down Envoy, down by the river…”

OK, in the bright light of day, and even during the night, I realize how ridiculous these thoughts are. For one thing I am blessed with many wonderful friends who would help me out, just as I would help them.  But I think everyone has had those dark and racing thoughts at some point—especially during a time of transition and in the dark of night.

I think the devil likes us to have these thoughts—he wants us to live in fear, both to take away our joy of living, and to make us doubt what we know about God, and the promises that God has given us.

What Paul is telling us here is that we have more than just ourselves—our flesh—to fight these thoughts. We do not have to do it alone! We have the divine power of the Holy Spirit, working through God’s Word, the Holy Bible, on our side, to dispute these thoughts. We can look to His word and destroy the thoughts that are contrary to what we know of God.  

And what does God’s word say about His character and His promises to us?

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

     Deuteronomy 31:6

“And He will give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.”

Psalm 91:11

“Cast all your anxiety upon the Lord because He cares for you!”

1 Peter 5:7

Pray to be discerning, to be able to tell when your thoughts are going into those dark places. When dark thoughts enter your mind, take them captive. Compare them to what you know about God and about His Word. Claim His promises. Accept His peace.

A to Z Blogging "S is for..."

"...Stopping Spouse Bashing"
From the series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the Nebraska Family Times newspaper

When you’re with friends or co-workers or a group of people, the conversation often turns to spouses and their shortcomings, and then further deteriorates into a session of spouse bashing. While you may enjoy having the momentary attention of having the ‘worst spouse,’ criticizing your spouse can erode your relationship with him or her. 

Here are some responses that will turn the conversation in a more positive direction.

What to Say 

• “I hate to criticize; after all, I’m certainly not perfect either!”
• “I am so blessed; my husband took the kids to the park so I
  
  could have a nap yesterday.”
• “On our last anniversary, my husband and I promised to never criticize or complain about each other to anyone else, but instead to talk with each other if there are problems.” 
• “My wife made me a wonderful supper last night, and afterwards, rubbed my back! I love her so much.” 
• “I made a resolution to not talk to anyone but my spouse about any complaints about him; do you want to join me on that resolution?”

What Not to Say

• “Wow, your husband sounds like a real loser!”
• “Let me tell you how much worse my wife is!”
• “I wouldn’t put up with that behavior--tell her to shape up or ship out.” 

What to Do

• Talk over problems with your spouse, not someone outside of your marriage. 
• If you need to talk with someone about small irritations or
  
  problems, do so to a close friend who shares your beliefs and will encourage you to improve your marriage, not add to the spouse bashing. 
• After you’ve talked with your friend, make an effort to talk about the positive attributes of your spouse. 
• When you are in a group and spouse-bashing begins, pray for the right words to say, or the strength to walk away from the conversation. 
• Consider making a commitment with your spouse to only say flattering and positive things about each other in public. 
• Say flattering and positive things about your spouse, whether or not he or she is within earshot. 
• Pray for your spouse; pray to see his or her strong points, not weaknesses. 
• Change the subject; to the weather, sports, or anything else!
• Walk away if the spouse-bashing continues. 

Don’t . . . 

• . . . join in by criticizing your spouse, or someone else’s, no matter how tempting it is to do so. 
• ...make passive-aggressive posts on Facebook; talk with your spouse instead. 

"Love is patient...love is kind...

it is not arrogant or rude...

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing...

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (excerpts)

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The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide,

where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”

A to Z Blogging "R is for..."

"...Racist, Sexist or Bigoted Remarks or Jokes"
from the series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor, Nebraska Family Times newspaper

Stereotypical, racist, bigoted, or sexist comments about any group of people are never OK, but unfortunately are a common occurrence. Some people are offended by jokes about blonds or people of a certain age or ethnic or religious group, and some are not. Before you tell a joke targeting a racial, ethnic, social, or religious group of people, ask yourself if you would think it was funny if you belonged to that group. If you would be offended, or if you sense someone in the group would be offended, don’t tell the joke. 

Use the following remarks if unacceptable comments are made.

What to Say

• “That is a very sexist comment!”
• “Remarks like that are not appropriate.” 
• “That generalization is untrue for most of the group of people you are talking about.” 
• After a stereotypical comment; “Do you have facts to back that up?” or, “Actually statistics show that . . . “
• “I really don’t like jokes like that. Can we please talk about
  
  something else?” 

What Not to Say

• “ . . . um, er, you know, that’s not the nicest thing to say and maybe we shouldn’t talk about people that way, I think . . . “

What to Do

• Say a quick prayer asking God to give you the right words to diffuse the situation. 
• Say your comments in a calm, firm voice, with a serious expression on your face, and then change the subject to something neutral, like the weather or another generic topic.
• If this situation occurs in your workplace or place of worship, report it to a supervisor, the Human Resources representative, a pastor or elder or other appropriate person. 

Don’t . . . 

• . . . apologize for your beliefs about not making disparaging remarks. 
• ..."let it go." 

--------------------------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations”

by Shelly Burke, RN. Coming soon!

 Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

                                                                   

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide,

where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”

A to Z Blogging "Q is for..."

"...The Queen (or King!) of Drama"
From the series "Words Matter"
By Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, Nebraska Family Times

(Author's note to my friends: God has blessed me with wonderful friends! I don't have any drama queens or kings in my life, so if you are reading this, it's not written *to* you. We all come in contact with drama queens or kings at some point in our lives (and speaking for myself I can BE a drama queen once in a while...) and I want to share some ways of interacting with them calmly and hopefully helping them with the drama.) 

We ALL have Drama Queen and King moments in our lives, or at least I know I do! These suggestions are for the person for whom every out-of-the-ordinary (and sometimes even the ordinary) occurrence is a crisis. A minor health complaint requires visits to multiple doctors and perhaps specialists. Unhappiness in a job or a perceived snub by someone necessitates lamenting about it all day and multiple vague Facebook updates or tweets. Even world events and national or global issues (the weather, homelessness) can cause this person distress well out of proportion with reality. Nothing can be ‘let go‘; everything is  personal in some way and must be discussed in great detail, often complete with tears. Any and every suggestion you, or anyone else gives, *will not work* to solve or even decrease the drama in the Drama Queen or King's life. 

It helps somewhat to understand what the motivation of a Drama Queen or King might be. Sometimes a person is lonely or doesn't feel that he or she is getting the attention he or she "needs." Some people have had drama of one sort or another present in their life, all their life and it is, to them, a normal and necessary part of life. Drama Kings and Queens can be exhausting to keep up with! If this person is a good friend your goal might be to help the person see how overly-dramatic he or she is being, but in a way that does not hurt feelings or irreparably damage your relationship. If the person is a distant acquaintance you might have to distance yourself from the drama. Always remember to show kindness; you are a child of God and we should always strive to show His love. 


What to Say 

• “Wow, that was quite a performance! Are you ready to talk about it calmly, now?”
• "Let's pray about it, that you will feel God's leading you to a solution." 
• “Since I don’t have millions of dollars to donate, and can’t go over personally to save them, I’m going to leave the plight of the horny toads in South Africa in God’s hands.” 
• “I can tell this is all very upsetting to you . . . Let’s get together to talk about it when I have a few minutes to talk about it.” (Sometimes just talking about something relieves some of the
  
  stress that leads to drama king or queen performances.)
• “What can we do about it?” (depending on the answer, encourage the person to take action or realize that he cannot do anything about this issue).
• If someone has been unwilling to take any action about the situation, kindly say, "When you are ready to do something about this, let me know and I will do what I can to help." 
• On a Facebook post: "You are in my thoughts and prayers." 

What Not to Say

• “Tell me more!” (if you say it seriously).
• “Don’t be ridiculous.” 
• “What is wrong with you?”
• “Why should I care?” (Be kind! The person may tell you, in great detail, why you should care!) 
• On a Facebook post: "You are such a drama queen!" or anything sarcastic or mean. Be kind! 

What to Do

• Pray for God’s guidance to deal with the situation in a way that shows His love. 
• Explain your point of view about the issue, objectively. 
• Point out the facts about the issue objectively. Perhaps the person will realize that it’s not the crisis he or she is making it out to be.
• Try to redirect the conversation to an area that is less emotional, like work, family, or the weather.   
• Distance yourself from the person if he/she is taking too much of your time and energy. This is not an easy thing to do, but may be the best solution. 
• See the positive aspects of the person beyond his actions. 

Don’t . . . 

• . . . react to the performance; calmly say, “We’ve already discussed that,” and then change the subject.
• . . . get caught up in a discussion if the person is clearly
  
  unwilling to consider another point of view or try anything to diminish the drama. Sometimes a discussion will only prolong the drama or allow the person to argue his or her position further.
• ...comment on a Facebook post at all if in the past the person has contradicted or reacted negatively to what you've tried to suggest. 
• ...get into a long "conversation" on Facebook if the Drama King or Queen has been unwilling to accept any potential solutions in the past. 

Is there a Drama Queen or King in Your Life? How do you cope?

---------------------------------------------------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations”

by Shelly Burke, RN. Coming soon!

 Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

                                                                   

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide,

where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”