{{Still Catching up on the A to Z Challenge}} Q is for Quarrel

Quarrel

The beginning of strife is like letting out water,

so quit before the quarrel breaks out.

Proverbs 17:14

Have you been in a quarrel with someone…but you can’t remember how it began? A cross (or perceived to be cross) word can start a back-and-forth that just escalates—and suddenly you’re in an argument—maybe not even knowing what it is really about. It’s happened to me and usually I feel silly that something pretty minor escalated (especially when it was with one of my kids…when they were toddlers).

The verse above tells us to “quit before the quarrel breaks out.”

It’s not easy—we all want to prove ourselves “right.” But oftentimes not arguing at all feels even better than proving a point—and it takes less time, too.

I’ve made a point to try to diffuse conflict before it starts (I’m not always successful…it’s my own fault!).

Sometimes it means saying something completely off topic; my favorite is “How ‘bout them Huskers?” (That is especially mood-changing when I say it because those who know me know that I have no idea if the current season is football, volleyball, or basketball…and I have no idea if players in said sports are trying to hit a ball, throw a ball, kick a ball…).  

Sometimes it means we agree to disagree…and one of us has to agree not to insist on having the last word in the agreeing-to-disagree.

Sometimes it means nodding respectfully and not saying another word (I think I have scars on my tongue from doing that…but I didn’t argue!)

Sometimes it means saying nothing…but having that pit-in-the-stomach feeling of “He was soooo wrong…”

All this is to say, it’s not easy to avoid an argument (especially when you *know* you are right). But God wouldn’t have given us this instruction if it wasn’t important to Him.

Maybe He commanded us not to quarrel because so many of our arguments are so minor…but cause so much stress, tension and chaos—stress, tension and chaos that takes our attention away from the Him and doing His work.

Maybe it’s because quarrels can hurt—sometimes really hurt—all involved.

Maybe it’s because quarrels just do not show His love—the love He wants us to show to everyone.

Maybe it’s because quarreling is a bad example to kids and to non-Christians, you know, the whole setting-a-good-example thing.

It’s not easy, but it is His command. And the Bible tells us that Jesus experienced temptation, too—but He did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15). The next verse says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and grace to help in time of need.”

So there is my solution for you—when you are tempted to quarrel, draw near to the Lord. Pray that He will guard your tongue…will give you something funny to say…will help you control your words…or even put His hand over your mouth to prevent those words from coming out (even if they would convince the other person that you are right).

Do you get caught up in a quarrel before you realize it?

What will you do today, to stop it before it starts?

I’m also blogging at Home is Where the Mom Is . 

Peaceably

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

Romans 12:18

It is possible to live peaceably with most people; if your personalities clash, you either avoid the person or are distantly polite.

However, there are people with whom it is not possible to live peaceably.

Perhaps when you give an inch they take 10,000 miles.

Maybe they are offended by everything you say, and let you know it.

Or have hurt you so badly in the past (or continue to hurt you) you just cannot face them.

Or their values directly oppose yours—and they enjoy trying to force them on you.

What to do? 

• Avoid the person if possible.
• Pray that the Lord will give you patience and grace if you have to face the person, and that if words are necessary, the Holy Spirit will give you the right ones. And (this is really difficult!) pray for the person. The only thing I could pray for one person who used to be in my life was, “Please Lord give her Your peace.”
• Remember the words that follow the above verse: “Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:19-20. 
• Hard as it is (I know, I’ve been in the situation!) be kind if you have to have contact, and let the Lord handle the rest. He knows what has happened; He knows what the best solution is. It might not be your solution; pray for His peace with whatever happens.

Who in your life is impossible to live with peaceably? What will you do next time you see that person? Pray for the Lord’s guidance, and that you will show His love, despite the circumstances.

I’m also blogging the A to Z Challenge at Home is Where the Mom Is. 

 Old Testament

Every word in the Bible is there for a reason. Have you ever wondered what the purpose of the narratives of the Old Testament are? (Our pastor calls them “narratives”, as the word “stories” implies they are fiction. In our denomination we believe that every narrative in the Bible actually happened.)

Paul wrote, in the New Testament, about the events that happened during the time the Israelites were wandering in the desert for 40 years. The Israelites grumbled, complained, disobeyed and doubted the Lord, and worshiped idols.

“Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did…Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction…”

1 Corinthians 10:6, 11

These narratives are not only a record of the events that occurred as our faith-history, they are events that the Lord wants us to remember and look back upon. The Israelites give us many examples of how we should not act. They show us the consequences of evil and of sin.

The Old Testament can also inspire and encourage us. In Romans, St. Paul wrote:

“For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”

Romans 15:4

 What is your favorite OT narrative?

I think mine is the narrative of Joseph (Genesis 37-46). He endured so much at the hands of his brothers, then Potiphar (after his wife lied to him that Joseph had tried to assault her). Even when he was in prison for an additional two years (because the cupbearer to whom Joseph had interpreted a dream had forgotten him) Joseph did not give up hope. Eventually Joseph was raised into power and saved the entire country, and his family (who he forgave for selling him into slavery), from starvation. The reach of this narrative—through many years and several nations—shows me how, despite bad things happening, God makes all things for good. During this time Joseph was faithful to the Lord, despite being betrayed over and over. Joseph can be an example for all of us, in how he did not only forgive his brothers, but brought them to live with him.

I am also encouraged by Joshua, who lead the Israelites into the promised land; most experts believe there were several million Israelites by this time—and they were a challenge, to be sure!

Esther’s bravery inspires me to do what is right no matter where I am and what I’m doing.

These narratives and more have encouraged me to endure through the difficult times in my life; I know that, like God’s Old Testament people, I can survive and thrive, with the help of the Lord.

Study the Old Testament, with your children if they are still at home. Every narrative gives guidance and instruction, encouragement. Some give warnings; some help us to endure. As you read the narratives, talk about and write down the life-lessons you can learn from them.

What is your favorite Old Testament narrative and why? Share your comments below. 

A to Z Blogging -- N is for Near

Near

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,

that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

Do you ever hesitate to pray about your problems, your fears, your mistakes, your concerns?

Do you doubt that the Lord understands?

Do you wonder if He can really forgive your sins? He H

Hebrews 4:14-15 tells us, “For we do not have a High Priest {Jesus} Who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one Who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”

So you see, He does understand.  You can draw near to him, knowing that He was tempted as we are; He did not sin but He knows how we feel and He shows us mercy and grace when we fail, no matter what our failures are.

Take comfort in drawing near to the Lord today; experience His mercy and grace no matter what your need. 

(I’m also blogging the A to Z Challenge at Home is Where the Mom Is. Check it out!)

Catching up...{Drumroll}...And the Winners Are...

The winners of the gift basket (pictured below) are: 

• Marcy, for your comment on the Nebraska Family Times blog on 4/18
• Buffie, for your comment on the Nebraska Family Times blog on 4/16
• Melanie Schultz for your comment on the Home is Where the Mom Is blog on 4/16
• Multi-Tasking Mama for your comment on the Home is Where the Mo Is blog on 4/8

Please e-mail me your mailing address to me at shelly@shellyburke.net by Wednesday and I'll get your gift in the mail! 

The next giveaway will be announced later this week;

sign up to receive these blog posts in your e-mail so you can sign up

for the next gift giveaway! {HINT: It will contain CHOCOLATE!)

And stay tuned...I'll be catching up on posts for the A to Z Blogging Challenge on both blogs this week! 

Wild Week! And Chance to Win a Gift Basket Extended!

Yes, I know it's not the day for "W" yet...

Please accept my sincere apologies at falling behind on the "A to Z Challenge"! On Sunday I was invited to go with a friend to a little town in western Nebraska; she gave her "Chocolate" talk there. After, as she was talking with people who attended, we started hearing that the Interstate was closed...because of snow! We did NOT expect that but after checking with family and friends realized that we'd be spending the night in North Platte (where there was no snow, by the way...). After a trip to WalMart for pajamas and a few other necessities, we treated ourselves to a nice supper out and talked until almost 2 AM, discussing everything from our kids to the theology of heaven to our future writing plans and goals to the kind of toothpaste we used...

Needless to say I didn't get any blogging done that day or Monday...we left mid-morning to come home and within 5 or 6 miles saw the first semi jack-knifed in the median. We saw numerous other cars and semis on their sides or completely overturned as we made our way home. We were very thankful to get home safely!

The rest of my week was spent putting the May issue of the "Nebraska Family Times" together; if you'd like a FREE copy of the June issue e-mail me at shelly@shellyburke.net with your mailing address), working, going to church, welcoming Morgan, my daughter, home, seeing the movie "Heaven is for Real", planning and shopping for Easter dinner...and basically, well, not blogging.

I have my posts planned out and WILL catch up within the next few days.

To make it up to my readers I will be giving away 4 gift baskets instead of just one (see this post ) and have decided to extend it until Easter Monday; everyone who comments between now and then will be in the drawing for one of the gift baskets.

May God bless you and your family this Easter!

"He is risen!"

"He is risen indeed!"

"Alleluia!" 

A to Z Blogging -- M is for Measure

Measure

Jesus said, “…give, and it will be given to you…

For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.

Luke 6:38

With what measure are you giving today? It is easy to “give”—of our time, our talent, and our treasure—to those we love, to those who have given to us.

But with what measure do you give?

Reluctantly, because you don’t want to take the time?

Resentfully, that someone demanding yet something else?

Angrily because you “have” to?

The Lord gives to us every day with a measure of generosity and love, more than we can imagine, more than we could ever deserve. Shouldn’t we do the same?

But it is not so easy to give to those who have measured out to us betrayal, or hurt, or maybe nothing at all. With the Lord’s help, however, we can do so. Pray that He will open your heart to forgive, to be generous and giving to others—even if they have not given to us in like measure.

Ask the Lord to help you give with love and generosity today.

(I’m also blogging the A to Z Challenge at Home is Where the Mom Is about 

The Morning Blues—Beating Them.)