A to Z Blogging..."J is for..."

"...Job Loss"
From the series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor of the Nebraska Family Times newspaper

When Someone Loses His or Her Job

A person’s job is a part of his or her identity, so losing a job is difficult for emotional reasons, not just financial ones. Here are some suggestions for helping a friend through this experience. 

What to Say

• “I’m so sorry!”
• “How are you doing?”
• “Did you know it was coming?”
• “What’s next?”  (The person might be planning to go back to school, look for a job in a completely different area, or open his
  
  own business rather than looking for another job right away. Ask, so you can offer your help and support as you‘re able to.) 
• “What can I do to help?” 
• “How is the job search going?”  (if the person is searching for another job).

What Not to Say

• “What kind of severance pay did you get?”
• “I knew that was a bad job for you.”
• “How will you pay the rent, medical bills, power bill, and groceries, now that you don’t have an income?”

What to Do

• Pass on job information, as appropriate. For example, tell your friend if a suitable position is available in your company, or if you see a promising job advertised in the want-ads. 
• Be sensitive about asking questions like, “Did you send in that resume’?” “What are you doing today?”  The person might appreciate your friendly concern, but could see your questions as implying that he is not doing enough.  
• Offer your help in any area of expertise; writing or reviewing a resume‘, coaching the person on interview techniques, and so on. If you expect to be paid for typing a resume‘, make that clear before you do it. For example, mention, “I wish I could do this for you for free, but I have bills! I will do it for half price, which is . . . “ If you are doing it as a gift, make that clear, also. “If you’d like, I’ll be happy to type up your resume’ for you, no charge. Just spread the word if you’re happy with my work!”
• Let the person know with your words and actions that he is still your friend and your friendship isn’t based on him having a job.
• Be encouraging, but realistic, as your friend searches for a job or a new direction. If he wants to apply for a job you feel is totally inappropriate, ask questions which will lead him to think about why the job might not be appropriate for him.    

Don’t . . . 

• . . . make any discouraging comments about the job market, insurance, his bills, and so on. You can be sure these issues are already a worry to your jobless friend! 
• . . . project your expectations on the person who has lost his or her job. He might not go about a job hunt as you would, or might choose to take a completely different path than you deem a good choice. Your job is to be supportive. If you feel he is making a mistake, ask questions about what you’re worried about and gently voice your concerns.  

If You’ve Lost Your Job

What to Say

• “Would you please pray for . . . “
• “It was quite a shock to learn that I didn’t have a job after next
  
  week!”
• “I knew changes were coming, so it wasn’t a complete surprise.”
• When people ask what they can do to help, tell them! 
• “May I use your name as a reference when I fill out job applications?”
• “I would like to get my resume’ to the right person in your office. To whom should I send it?” 
• “Would you have time to take a look at my resume’ and give me suggestions to improve it?”
• “I’m thinking of opening my own home business. You’ve been running your home business for several years; could we get together to talk about what it takes?”

What Not to Say

• “I know you can get me a job at your company if you really want to.”

What to Do 

• Remember to thank anyone who helps you, preferably in writing. If what they’ve done to help (like type your resume’) is part of their business, be sure to pass the information on to anyone you meet that could use the service.
• Only tell people what you want to about losing a job; it‘s not necessary to divulge details if you don‘t want to.  

Don’t . . . 

• . . . say anything negative about your old job or boss, or the people you worked with. You might be complaining to a potential employer! 
• . . . talk negatively about your job search--that negativity will affect your attitude.   

What has someone said or done to help you after you've lost a job, or what did you do to help someone after he or she lost a job?

--------------------------------------------------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations”

by Shelly Burke, RN. Coming soon!

 Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

                                                                   

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom is; A Christian Mom's Guide,

where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”

A to Z Blogging..."G is for..."

"...Gossip"
From the "Words Matter" Series
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Editor of the "Nebraska Family Times" newspaper

Gossip

 Gossip seems harmless, but if you’ve ever been the victim of gossip, you know how hurtful words can be. God considers it a serious enough topic that there are many Bible verses warning against it (among them Lev. 19:16, Pro. 26:20, 22, and Eph. 4:29). Despite His warnings, it’s easy to get caught up in gossip almost without realizing it. If you are with someone, or a group of someones, and gossip begins, here are a few ways to stop it.  

What to Say

• “I would not want people talking about the private details of my life, especially if there’s no way they could know what’s really going on. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and not speculate.”
• Try humor; “Gosh, I’d hate to hear what you say about me when I’m not here! Let’s change the subject--how do you like the weather?” 
• “My New Year’s resolution is to only say good things about other people. Do you want to join me in that resolution?”
• “I don’t think it’s fair to talk about her when she’s not here to give her side of what happened.” Then change the subject; “So, how was your weekend?”
• “Oh, my, look at the time! I’ve got to get back to work on that project.” 
• If someone tries to tantalize you by hinting that she knows the details of the latest scandal, reply, “Well, I guess we’ll all know soon enough, won’t we?” and change the subject.

Have you ever caught yourself in the center of a group of people who are waiting to hear the juicy gossip that’s about to come out of your mouth? Here’s how to rescue yourself from that situation.

• “Wait a minute--I know better than to spread gossip. Let’s
  
  change the subject--what are you doing this weekend?”
• “Oh, no, I just heard my mom’s voice saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” and I better listen to her!”
• Dramatically clap your hand over your mouth and say, “A very non-Christian thing almost came out of my mouth--good thing my conscience is attached to my hand!”

What Not to Say

• “Oh, please, tell me all the juicy details!”  
• “Let me tell you everything I know!”

What to Do

• Talk in a serious tone of voice, with a solemn look on your face, when you try to stop gossip. 
• Walk away if gossip starts, or continues after you’ve tried to change the subject.

Don’t . . . 

• . . .  even listen to gossip; by doing so you are saying with your actions that it’s OK to gossip.
• . . . ignore gossip if it is about a friend (see next section).

Should You Tell Someone She’s Being Gossiped About?
Immediately refute any gossip about someone else, that you know to be false. Here are a few ways to do so. 

What to Say  

• “I am her friend and I know that is absolutely untrue.”
• “I would not want people talking about the private details of my life, especially if there’s no way they could know what’s really going on. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and not speculate.”

What Not to Say

• “Oh, what else did you hear? Tell me all the details!”

What to Do

• Walk away if the gossip continues.

Don’t . . . 

• . . . repeat the gossip. 

Before you tell someone they are the subject of gossip, ask yourself if doing so will help that person. If what is being said is harmless--”What a haircut!” or, “I wouldn’t carry around a purse like that!”--there is no reason to repeat it to her; it would just be hurtful and there’s nothing she did to cause the gossip or can do to prevent it. 

However, if your friend’s actions are fueling gossip, you might want to draw her attention to her actions and the impression they are giving. In this case, not telling her could cause harm by hurting her reputation or family or even jeopardizing her job. Tell her gently, in private, how her actions appear. Be prepared for her to be upset, but reassure her you are telling her because of your concern for her well-being. 

What to Say

• “I know you’re friends with the boss; in the cafeteria yesterday several people were speculating that you’re having an affair with him. Of course I assured them that you are not, but I wanted you to know how your actions around him look to some people.”
• “I don’t know why your friendship with Chris ended, but she is saying that you borrowed money and did not pay it back. That does not sound like something you would do! Do you mind telling me what really happened so I can set people straight?”

What Not to Say

• “Tell me all the details of what happened with you and the boss, so I can pass them on.” 

What to Do

• Pray that your friend would realize how her actions appear.  
• Reassure your friend of your support and friendship. 

Don’t . . . 

• . . . share the names of the people doing the gossiping. 
• . . . repeat the gossip to anyone else!

------------------------------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations”

by Shelly Burke, RN. Coming soon!

 Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

                                                                   

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide,

where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”

A to Z Blogging..."F is For..."

"...Favors...Offering Favors and Asking For a Favor" 
From the series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, "Nebraska Family Times" newspaper

Offering a Favor

Remember that the people who need a favor the most are often reluctant, embarrassed, or ashamed to have to ask. In times of crisis, people might not even think to ask for help.  Be alert to situations where your offer of a favor could bless someone. 



What to Say

• “I would like to do  ____________ for you.”
• “What can I do that would help you the most?”
• “I will come over tomorrow and help you clean your house.” 
• “I can pick up the kids and watch them tomorrow; when I bring them back I’ll bring supper, if that‘s OK with you.”

Offer to do specific tasks, especially if the person is in the midst of a crisis; 

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• “Do you have someone to stay with the baby during the funeral? I will be available.”
• “Can I pick up some groceries for you? What do you need most?”
• “Are there any phone calls I can make?”

What Not to Say

• “What can I do for you?”  (Offering to do something specific is better.)
• “Let me know if you need anything.” (The person might not feel comfortable asking you for something, or might not even know what to ask for.) 

What to Do

• Offer to do specific tasks that the person might be too overwhelmed to do, or even think of asking you to do.
• If you know the person well enough to know that it won’t upset or offend her, just  do what needs to be done, like laundry, cooking, or cleaning. 

Don’t . . . 

• . . . do so much that the person feels uncomfortable with all that you are doing for her or becomes dependent on your constant help. 
• . . . insist on doing a favor if the person strenuously objects or repeatedly tells you not to. 

(For suggestions for turning down a request for a favor, stay tuned to the A to Z Blogging Challenge where "N is for...How and When to say "NO"". Sign up on the right sidebar to receive new posts by e-mail!)

Asking for a Favor

Sometimes it’s hard to ask for a favor, but when you truly

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need one, friends will probably be more than happy to help you out if they can. Remember that it is a blessing to be able to help someone; when you ask for help, you are giving that person the opportunity to bless you, which in turn is a blessing to her.   

What to Say  

• “I have a favor to ask you, but I understand if you can’t help me.”
• “It’s difficult for me to ask for this, but it’s really important. Please be honest if it’s not something you want to do.”
• “Could you help me out? I was wondering if you would  . . . “
• “Would you have the time to look over my resume’ and give me any suggestions as to how to put it together?” 
• If you feel it’s appropriate, provide details; “My husband and I are going through a tough time. We’re seeing a counselor tomorrow afternoon; could you watch the kids for a few hours?” 

Consider a trade-off:

• “As a favor, could you watch my kids Saturday morning? In turn, I’ll watch your kids any morning next week.”

What Not to Say

• “What are you doing next weekend?” (Don’t put the person on the spot about their plans before asking for your favor.)
• “Since I helped you with that favor last year, now it’s your turn. I need you to . . . "

What to Do

• Pray about who to ask to do the favor for you. 
• Explain what the favor is, when you need it by, and other details, when you ask for the favor.  
• Be clear about when you’d like an answer so you can make other arrangements if necessary. 

Don’t . . . 

• . . . imply that the person “owes” you, even if you have done many favors for him.  
• . . . press for an immediate answer unless you really need the answer right away, and if so, apologize for the short notice. 
• . . . be vague about what the favor is. 

--------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations”

by Shelly Burke, RN. Coming soon!

 Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at www.achristianmomsguide.blogspot.com,

where the theme is “Lifehacks for Christian Moms.”

A to Z Blogging "D is for..."

...Dysfunctional Family Members, Guidelines for Dealing With
From the series "Words Matter"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the Nebraska Family Times newspaper

Most families have some sort of dysfunction; some families put the “fun” into dysfunction, while others put the “funk” into dysfunction! Some people (and the situations that arise because of their dysfunction) are amusing, some are annoying, and some are harmful to other family members. 

Consider one of the pillars of the Christian faith, Abraham. He lied several times that his wife was actually his sister. When his wife Sarah could not have a baby, she encouraged Abraham to have a baby with her servant, Hagar. Later Isaac fathered sons Esau and Jacob. Rebekah, Isaac's wife, favored Jacob, and encouraged him to lie so he would receive the birthright that belonged to Esau. There are many examples of family dysfunction in the Bible. The lesson is that dysfunctional families have been around literally since God created us; Adam blamed Eve for the first sin and Eve blamed the serpent. Adam and Eve's sons didn't get along and ultimately Cain killed his brother Abel. Despite their dysfunction and ours, God loves and forgives. (These narratives are found in Genesis 4, 20-22,   25-27

Before you approach a family member about his or her actions and behaviors, ask yourself if the potential upheaval that confronting the issue is worth it. This depends on many factors. Does this member of the family live far away or close to you? Do you see him often or rarely? Do positive character traits outweigh the negative? Is the person’s behavior merely annoying, or truly destructive to one or more family members? Does the family allow the behaviors to continue, perpetuating the hurt? Even family members should not be permitted to be involved in your life to the extent or in a manner of causing damage to another’s physical and/or emotional health. 

If you see the problem-causing person frequently, and the behavior

occurs often, or is very hurtful to other family members, you may feel you have to take action to protect your family. Do not hesitate to stand up for yourself, your family or other extended family members, or your beliefs. Future negative memories are not worth ‘keeping the peace.’ 

On the other hand, if the behavior is more irritating than hurtful, or if you rarely see the person, or if his or her positive characteristics that outweigh the negative, it may be better to tolerate it during the infrequent times you are together.  You can do this with ‘superficial friendliness‘--greet the person politely, make a few minutes of small talk, as required, and then manage to keep your distance from the person.   

General Guidelines for Dealing with Dysfunctional Family Members

What to Say

• Pray about talking with a family member about unacceptable behaviors, or resolving past misunderstandings, before you get together for an event. 
• “Uncle Jim, I know you love to tell jokes, but some are really off-color, and our kids are getting old enough to understand and repeat them. Could you please keep it G-rated at our Thanksgiving dinner next week? We would really appreciate it.”
• “My children and the other little ones at family dinners get very upset when you tease them about their hair color or being overweight. I know you don’t mean to hurt their feelings, but you do with those comments. This year at the reunion, could you please not do that? The kids would love for you to ask them how their softball team is doing, or about our vacation. Thank you for understanding!”
• “What happened between us was a long time ago. Can we start with a clean slate at the family get-together next month?”
• “I want to apologize for my part in our misunderstanding last year. I would like to try to repair our friendship and hope we can start at the family dinner next week.” 

If old issues or disagreements come up during an event, try these replies:

• “Let’s just not talk about that, but celebrate the wedding. That‘s what we‘re here for.” 
• “Let’s enjoy being together and not talk about old hurts now.”
• “I’m sorry you’re still angry about what happened, but I cannot change it. I just want to get along for the sake of our parents and kids.”

What Not to Say (even when you're tempted to!):

• “You’re such a jerk!”
• “You’ve been this way since we were kids!”
• “You always act this way.” 
• “Mom and dad always let you get away with everything. That’s why you are like this.”
  
• “It’s all your fault that our family is like this.”
• “I still can’t believe you did that to me 20 years ago . . . “

What to Do:

• Pray for guidance about what to say and do, and for patience, kindness, and understanding in dealing with the issue.  
• Tell the truth with love and kindness.    
• Plan ahead for what you’ll do and say if certain situations occur; you might try to diffuse an argument, separate people who are arguing, step away from someone who is harassing you, etc. 
• Be proactive; enlist other family members to either help resolve disputes or separate trouble-makers if disputes start at a get-together.  

Don’t . . . 

• . . . fall into old patterns with family members. 
• . . . have unrealistic expectations of family members changing or getting along, even if you‘ve talked with the people involved and the conflicts seem to be resolved.
• . . . be afraid to make a scene if necessary, if someone is being hurt physically or emotionally.

What's your best hint for dealing with a difficult family member?

--------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” 

by Shelly Burke, RN. 

Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide

A to Z Blogging Challenge "E is for..."

...Expressing your Personal Beliefs and Choices 
From the Series "Words Matter" 
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the Nebraska Family Times newspaper

Every person and family is unique in regards to its beliefs and practices of day-to-day life. What people eat, wear, do in their free time, how late the kids stay up, if they recycle, how much TV they watch, whether they send their kids to public, private, parochial school or home school, if they do or don’t drink alcohol or smoke, and countless other details, make every family distinctive.

For the most part, these personal quirks and details of family life are unnoticed by others, or are accepted as just part of that family’s lifestyle. Occasionally you might be asked about, or even challenged on, details of your lifestyle. Here are a few non-confrontational replies.

What to Say

• “I don’t eat sugary snacks. I don’t feel good after eating them, so I avoid them.”
• “We don’t like to expose our kids to violence or sexually explicit movies, so we don’t watch them.”  
• “We’ve decided that our kids won’t watch TV during the day.”
• “I just don’t eat eggs.”
• “We've done the research and decided to keep meat in our diet.” 
• “I recycle whenever I can.” 
• “I don’t recycle because there are no collection centers near here.” 
• “For our kids, private/parochial/public/home school is the best option for their education.”
• “That’s just one of my quirks.”
• “It’s part of my lifestyle to do it that way.” 

What Not to Say:

• “If you were responsible, you’d do what I do.” (Being judgmental or harsh won’t encourage anyone to follow your lifestyle.)
• “You really should be responsible and . . . “
• “You should never/always. . . “

What to Do

• Be matter-of-fact about your beliefs and practices.
• Say these things in a matter-of-fact, non-judgmental manner. You don’t have to give detailed reasons for your beliefs (you don‘t have to give any reasons at all!).  
• If you want to educate others on aspects of your lifestyle, use solid information, not scare tactics. 

Don’t . . . 

• . . . be in-your-face or pushy about your beliefs and practices.
• . . . be judgmental about others’ practices or habits; talk with them politely and in private if you have concerns. 

----------------------------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” 

by Shelly Burke, RN. 

Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide

Click to read "Lifehacks for Christan Moms" 

A to Z Blogging Challenge "C is for..."

...Comments and Questions; Rude, Critical or Obnoxious, How to Respond
From the series "Words Matter" 
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, Nebraska Family Times Newspaper

When people make a rude, critical or obnoxious comment it's usually unintentional and not meant to offend or criticize the recipient of the comment. However, some people consistently go too far with their improper comments and questions. 

Consider the circumstances before you make your reply. If the comment comes from a stranger who just left her manners at home, answer (or ignore it) with a smile. However, if the person who made the remark has a history of asking overly-personal questions or making hurtful comments, you might choose to offer a stronger response. Whatever your approach, do it in a spirit of Christian love and grace. 

What to Say

• With a disbelieving expression and a polite, surprised tone, ask, "WHAT did you just say?" (Sometimes when a person repeats the comment he will realize how inappropriate it was.)
• "Wow! What a question! There is no right answer to that one!"
• "That's kind of an inappropriate thing to say to me..."
• "That's something I'm not going to talk about."
• "I don't discuss that with anyone but my family."

What not to Say (even when you are tempted to)

• "You are a horrible person to say something like that. I don't ever want to hear you do that again."
• "Obviously your mother didn't teach you any manners!"

What to Do

• Try silence and an "I cannot believe you just said that" look with eyes and mouth wide open and eyebrows raised. Perhaps the person will realize the inappropriateness of the remark.
• Remain pleasant and kind; you can make your point with kindness and grace.
• Change the subject without acknowledging the comment. 

Don't...

• ...respond by returning and insult or rude comment.
• ...reply to a rude or obnoxious question or comment if you don't want to.

What is YOUR best response to a rude, inappropriate or critical question or comment? 

-----------------------------------------

This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” 

by Shelly Burke, RN. 

Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide

April Scripture Memory Challenge

The Treasure of Wisdom

By Shelly Burke, Editor

How much better to get wisdom than gold!

To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. 

Proverbs 16:16

In our society, success is often (if not usually) measured in material goods and money. The Scripture Memory Challenge Verse for April, however, tells us that wisdom and understanding are better than gold and silver (money or any earthly possessions). 

How are wisdom and understanding better than gold and silver? 

1. No one can take away your wisdom and understanding. You will always have it. Gold and silver can be lost in many different ways—through misuse, the stock market crashing, or even others stealing your possessions. 

2. Wisdom and understanding can only improve our lives by guiding us through everyday life as well as difficult situations. Earthly possessions have the potential to be a detriment in our lives if not used correctly, or if they are emphasized above the Lord or others. 

3. Wisdom and understanding can only enhance our relationship with the Lord by helping us understand Him and His will for us and drawing us closer to Him. Earthly possessions can get in the way of our relationship with the Lord and others when we place the love of them, or striving for them, above all else. 

How can you gain wisdom and understanding? 

1. First, of course, by reading, learning and understanding God’s Word, the greatest source of wisdom and understanding. “All Scripture is…profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training…” (2 Timothy 3:16) in other words, gaining wisdom and understanding. 

2. Pray for God to help you understand His words about wisdom and understanding. 

3. Worship and attend Bible classes. Hearing others teach and talk about the Bible will increase your understanding. 

4. Consult advisers as you make plans (Prov. 15:22)—parents, pastors, experts, Christian counselors. Just remember that all who claim to be “experts” are not; be discerning in the advice that you take and act upon. 

5. Underline or highlight in your Bible and/or write out on notecards verses about wisdom and understanding (look up the words “wisdom” and “understanding” in the concordance in the back of your Bible and you’ll find a list of all the verses that contain these words). Refer to these verses when you need wisdom and understanding. 

6. Ask Him  to guide and lead you to make wise decisions. Seek his leading in your life through prayer, worship, and Bible study. Listen for His still small voice as you are making decisions. 

To receive your FREE Scripture Memory Verse Cards, see the Scripture Memory Challenge information on this page. 

Read more by Shelly at Nebraska Family Times.