A to Z Blogging Challenge "C is for..."

...Comments and Questions; Rude, Critical or Obnoxious, How to Respond
From the series "Words Matter" 
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher, Nebraska Family Times Newspaper

When people make a rude, critical or obnoxious comment it's usually unintentional and not meant to offend or criticize the recipient of the comment. However, some people consistently go too far with their improper comments and questions. 

Consider the circumstances before you make your reply. If the comment comes from a stranger who just left her manners at home, answer (or ignore it) with a smile. However, if the person who made the remark has a history of asking overly-personal questions or making hurtful comments, you might choose to offer a stronger response. Whatever your approach, do it in a spirit of Christian love and grace. 

What to Say

• With a disbelieving expression and a polite, surprised tone, ask, "WHAT did you just say?" (Sometimes when a person repeats the comment he will realize how inappropriate it was.)
• "Wow! What a question! There is no right answer to that one!"
• "That's kind of an inappropriate thing to say to me..."
• "That's something I'm not going to talk about."
• "I don't discuss that with anyone but my family."

What not to Say (even when you are tempted to)

• "You are a horrible person to say something like that. I don't ever want to hear you do that again."
• "Obviously your mother didn't teach you any manners!"

What to Do

• Try silence and an "I cannot believe you just said that" look with eyes and mouth wide open and eyebrows raised. Perhaps the person will realize the inappropriateness of the remark.
• Remain pleasant and kind; you can make your point with kindness and grace.
• Change the subject without acknowledging the comment. 

Don't...

• ...respond by returning and insult or rude comment.
• ...reply to a rude or obnoxious question or comment if you don't want to.

What is YOUR best response to a rude, inappropriate or critical question or comment? 

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This post is an excerpt from “What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” 

by Shelly Burke, RN. 

Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

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The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at

Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide

April Scripture Memory Challenge

The Treasure of Wisdom

By Shelly Burke, Editor

How much better to get wisdom than gold!

To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. 

Proverbs 16:16

In our society, success is often (if not usually) measured in material goods and money. The Scripture Memory Challenge Verse for April, however, tells us that wisdom and understanding are better than gold and silver (money or any earthly possessions). 

How are wisdom and understanding better than gold and silver? 

1. No one can take away your wisdom and understanding. You will always have it. Gold and silver can be lost in many different ways—through misuse, the stock market crashing, or even others stealing your possessions. 

2. Wisdom and understanding can only improve our lives by guiding us through everyday life as well as difficult situations. Earthly possessions have the potential to be a detriment in our lives if not used correctly, or if they are emphasized above the Lord or others. 

3. Wisdom and understanding can only enhance our relationship with the Lord by helping us understand Him and His will for us and drawing us closer to Him. Earthly possessions can get in the way of our relationship with the Lord and others when we place the love of them, or striving for them, above all else. 

How can you gain wisdom and understanding? 

1. First, of course, by reading, learning and understanding God’s Word, the greatest source of wisdom and understanding. “All Scripture is…profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training…” (2 Timothy 3:16) in other words, gaining wisdom and understanding. 

2. Pray for God to help you understand His words about wisdom and understanding. 

3. Worship and attend Bible classes. Hearing others teach and talk about the Bible will increase your understanding. 

4. Consult advisers as you make plans (Prov. 15:22)—parents, pastors, experts, Christian counselors. Just remember that all who claim to be “experts” are not; be discerning in the advice that you take and act upon. 

5. Underline or highlight in your Bible and/or write out on notecards verses about wisdom and understanding (look up the words “wisdom” and “understanding” in the concordance in the back of your Bible and you’ll find a list of all the verses that contain these words). Refer to these verses when you need wisdom and understanding. 

6. Ask Him  to guide and lead you to make wise decisions. Seek his leading in your life through prayer, worship, and Bible study. Listen for His still small voice as you are making decisions. 

To receive your FREE Scripture Memory Verse Cards, see the Scripture Memory Challenge information on this page. 

Read more by Shelly at Nebraska Family Times. 

A to Z Blogging Challenge

B is for...10 Best Things to say when you Don't know What to Say
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the "Nebraska Family Times" newspaper

 "I just do not know what to say." How often have you said or thought that when faced with a difficult situation?  First of all, know that when a friend or acquaintance is faced with the death of a child, the ending of a marriage, a devastating diagnosis, job loss, or other tragedy, there are no "magic" words, no words that will "make it all better." What is important is that you acknowledge their heartache and show them that they are not alone. 

No matter what the situation or circumstance, one or more of these statements 

are the ‘right’ thing to say. 

“I’m so sorry!”

“You are in my thoughts and prayers”

“What can I do for you?”

“It’s OK to cry/scream/laugh.”

“It’s OK to be mad/sad/upset/confused.”

“There are many people who love and support you”

“This is a terrible time for you, but I know you can do what you have to do.”

“I am here any time you want to talk/e-mail/cry.”

“I am your friend and I will support you and be here for you no matter what!”

NOTHING--just give a hug or sit quietly and listen. 

“Do not be anxious about…what you ought to say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” Luke 12:12

 (The post for next Thursday, April 9th, will cover "The Holy Spirit; Asking Him to Guide Your Words." Click "Follow by email" in the right sidebar to receive notification of

all new posts.)

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This post is an excerpt from 

“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” by Shelly Burke, RN. 

Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

______________________________________________________

The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom Is

where the theme is "Lifehacks for Christian Moms" 

A to Z Blogging Challenge

A is for...All About the "Nebraska Family Times" and "What Should I Say"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the "Nebraska Family Times"

I am so excited to take part in the A to Z Blogging Challenge! I will be blogging every day in April (except Sundays) and the topic of each post will pertain to the letter for that day; today, April 1st, beings with "A" (as in "All About...".) Tomorrow's post will begin with the letter "B", Friday's post will begin with the letter "C" and so on.

Click here to read all about the "Nebraska Family Times", the newspaper that I edit and publish.

Click here to read all about the theme I've chosen for the A to Z Blogging Challenge, "Words Matter". Topics covered during the challenge will include, "Advice", "10 Best Things to say in any Situation", "Kids Behaving Badly", "Religion and Politics", and "Unexpected Pregnancy". You'll get to read things to say in any of these situations, as well as things not to say.

Click "Follow by Email" in the right hand sidebar, right under the sunflower Blogging A to Z graphic, to receive every post by e-mail!
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I'm also blogging at "Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home". , where the theme is "Lifehacks for Christian Moms". Click to check it out! 

Theme Reveal for A to Z Blogging Challenge!

Beginning April 1st, I will be taking part in the A to Z Blogging Challenge! I will be blogging every day in April (except Sundays) and the topic of the blog will begin with the letter of the alphabet for that day; April 1, it will begin with the letter "A" and so on. 

The theme of A to Z Blogging on this blog will be "Words Matter" and many entries will be based on excerpts from my book "What to Say: The Right (and wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life's Sticky, Tricky, Uncomfortable Situations." Select entries will be based on what God's Word says about what we say. 

To receive blog posts via e-mail, sign up at the "follow by email" prompt on the right side of this

page. Throughout the month I'll be hosting giveaways and FREE downloads! 

I'll also be blogging, with a different theme, at Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide . Check it out!

March Scripture Memory Challenge

"Talking Points"
by Shelly Burke, Editor


“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” 
Ephesians 4:29

“Corrupting talk” is easy to define—gossip, criticism, put-downs, negativity about a person or situation. Unless you’re paying attention to what you’re saying, however, it is easy to slip into the habit of “corrupting talk”, especially if others around you are doing the same thing. 

What can you do to avoid corrupting talk? First, pray that God will make you aware of any negative talk before it even comes out of your mouth. As your mother probably told you, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” 

What can you do if negative talk is all around you? 

• Point out the positive about the situation. “This might not be the perfect job, but at least we have jobs!” “It is cold—but at least we’re not having a blizzard.” “I’ve always enjoyed working with he; she’s always very helpful.” “Let’s talk about something positive.” 

• Change the subject completely. When attempts at being positive haven’t worked, or an uncomfortable or inappropriate topic is being discussed, a comment like, “How about the Huskers?” usually makes people laugh and breaks the tension and changes the subject. 

• Share your values. “I made a resolution to not talk negative about anyone or anything.” “I’d rather focus on the positive.” “There’s so much good in the world and I’m going to talk about that.”

• Hand the person a verse card! Request your FREE verse cards to help you memorize scripture, and share the cards as appropriate (see details below). 

We aren’t just to avoid corrupting talk, but to use our words to build someone up. It only takes a few words to build someone up, make them feel valuable, loved, important: 

• “Good job!”
• “I’m glad to see you today!”
• “I can see how hard you’re working—and it’s paying off!”
• “It was nice to work with you today; thanks for all your help!”
• “Thank you for showing me how to do that.”
• “It’s fun to be around you!”
• “I appreciate your help.” 
• “Good morning!” 
• “Would you like to go with us to lunch?” 

Talk that “fits the occasion” can be words to  encourage,  congratulate or express sympathy.  If you don’t know what to say, ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words; “For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us …” (Romans 8:26). 

And how can you “give grace to those who hear”? Accept apologies, congratulate others—even if you wanted the job. 

Take the high road-- be the first to say “good morning” to someone who is normally grumpy first thing. If someone seems to ignore you or says something that could be taken as an insult, instead of reacting by immediately becoming offended or angry, consider: Maybe the person is having a bad day. Maybe he or she didn’t mean the comment as it sounded (I know I’ve said things to a person and realized that the words did not come out at all as I’d intended!). Either ask the person what he or she meant or, in the famous words from the movie “Frozen”, “Let it go!”
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To request your FREE verse cards, e-mail shelly@shellyburke.net with your address, or call (402) 750-3496. Suggested donation, $6 to cover postage costs for verse cards for the whole year!

March issue and Scripture Memory Challenge!

Scripture Memory
Challenge verse for
March 2015

The March issue of the Nebraska Family Times has been mailed and is available at sponsor locations! Pick up your issue, or request a FREE sample issue, to read "A Theology for Fifty Shades of Grey", "From New Year's Resolutions to March Madness", "5 Ways to Help Keep Your Marriage Spark Alive", "The Reverse Lent Challenge", "Finding God's Purpose in a New Season" and many more articles that will "inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk." To subscribe to the Nebraska Family Times and receive devotions and encouragement in all areas of Christian life, click the "subscribe" button on the right side of this page.

Take part in the Scripture Memory Challenge and instill God's Word in your heart! Details below.