A to Z Blogging Challenge

B is for...10 Best Things to say when you Don't know What to Say
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the "Nebraska Family Times" newspaper

 "I just do not know what to say." How often have you said or thought that when faced with a difficult situation?  First of all, know that when a friend or acquaintance is faced with the death of a child, the ending of a marriage, a devastating diagnosis, job loss, or other tragedy, there are no "magic" words, no words that will "make it all better." What is important is that you acknowledge their heartache and show them that they are not alone. 

No matter what the situation or circumstance, one or more of these statements 

are the ‘right’ thing to say. 

“I’m so sorry!”

“You are in my thoughts and prayers”

“What can I do for you?”

“It’s OK to cry/scream/laugh.”

“It’s OK to be mad/sad/upset/confused.”

“There are many people who love and support you”

“This is a terrible time for you, but I know you can do what you have to do.”

“I am here any time you want to talk/e-mail/cry.”

“I am your friend and I will support you and be here for you no matter what!”

NOTHING--just give a hug or sit quietly and listen. 

“Do not be anxious about…what you ought to say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” Luke 12:12

 (The post for next Thursday, April 9th, will cover "The Holy Spirit; Asking Him to Guide Your Words." Click "Follow by email" in the right sidebar to receive notification of

all new posts.)

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This post is an excerpt from 

“What Should I Say? The Right (and Wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life’s Sticky, Tricky Uncomfortable Situations” by Shelly Burke, RN. 

Coming soon! Download “What Should I Say” and be prepared for any of life’s sticky, tricky uncomfortable situations!

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The mission of the “Nebraska Family Times” is to “inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk.” To receive local, state and national news from a Christian point of view, as well as devotions, Bible Study and articles about all aspects of Christian life, in your mailbox every month, subscribe for only $20 for 12 issues! Click “Subscribe” on the sidebar or send your address and payment to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27^th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601.

I am also taking the Blogging A to Z Challenge at 

Home is Where the Mom Is

where the theme is "Lifehacks for Christian Moms" 

A to Z Blogging Challenge

A is for...All About the "Nebraska Family Times" and "What Should I Say"
by Shelly Burke, RN, Author, and Publisher of the "Nebraska Family Times"

I am so excited to take part in the A to Z Blogging Challenge! I will be blogging every day in April (except Sundays) and the topic of each post will pertain to the letter for that day; today, April 1st, beings with "A" (as in "All About...".) Tomorrow's post will begin with the letter "B", Friday's post will begin with the letter "C" and so on.

Click here to read all about the "Nebraska Family Times", the newspaper that I edit and publish.

Click here to read all about the theme I've chosen for the A to Z Blogging Challenge, "Words Matter". Topics covered during the challenge will include, "Advice", "10 Best Things to say in any Situation", "Kids Behaving Badly", "Religion and Politics", and "Unexpected Pregnancy". You'll get to read things to say in any of these situations, as well as things not to say.

Click "Follow by Email" in the right hand sidebar, right under the sunflower Blogging A to Z graphic, to receive every post by e-mail!
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I'm also blogging at "Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide to Caring for Herself, Her Family, and Her Home". , where the theme is "Lifehacks for Christian Moms". Click to check it out! 

Theme Reveal for A to Z Blogging Challenge!

Beginning April 1st, I will be taking part in the A to Z Blogging Challenge! I will be blogging every day in April (except Sundays) and the topic of the blog will begin with the letter of the alphabet for that day; April 1, it will begin with the letter "A" and so on. 

The theme of A to Z Blogging on this blog will be "Words Matter" and many entries will be based on excerpts from my book "What to Say: The Right (and wrong!) Words and Deeds for Life's Sticky, Tricky, Uncomfortable Situations." Select entries will be based on what God's Word says about what we say. 

To receive blog posts via e-mail, sign up at the "follow by email" prompt on the right side of this

page. Throughout the month I'll be hosting giveaways and FREE downloads! 

I'll also be blogging, with a different theme, at Home is Where the Mom Is; A Christian Mom's Guide . Check it out!

March Scripture Memory Challenge

"Talking Points"
by Shelly Burke, Editor


“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” 
Ephesians 4:29

“Corrupting talk” is easy to define—gossip, criticism, put-downs, negativity about a person or situation. Unless you’re paying attention to what you’re saying, however, it is easy to slip into the habit of “corrupting talk”, especially if others around you are doing the same thing. 

What can you do to avoid corrupting talk? First, pray that God will make you aware of any negative talk before it even comes out of your mouth. As your mother probably told you, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” 

What can you do if negative talk is all around you? 

• Point out the positive about the situation. “This might not be the perfect job, but at least we have jobs!” “It is cold—but at least we’re not having a blizzard.” “I’ve always enjoyed working with he; she’s always very helpful.” “Let’s talk about something positive.” 

• Change the subject completely. When attempts at being positive haven’t worked, or an uncomfortable or inappropriate topic is being discussed, a comment like, “How about the Huskers?” usually makes people laugh and breaks the tension and changes the subject. 

• Share your values. “I made a resolution to not talk negative about anyone or anything.” “I’d rather focus on the positive.” “There’s so much good in the world and I’m going to talk about that.”

• Hand the person a verse card! Request your FREE verse cards to help you memorize scripture, and share the cards as appropriate (see details below). 

We aren’t just to avoid corrupting talk, but to use our words to build someone up. It only takes a few words to build someone up, make them feel valuable, loved, important: 

• “Good job!”
• “I’m glad to see you today!”
• “I can see how hard you’re working—and it’s paying off!”
• “It was nice to work with you today; thanks for all your help!”
• “Thank you for showing me how to do that.”
• “It’s fun to be around you!”
• “I appreciate your help.” 
• “Good morning!” 
• “Would you like to go with us to lunch?” 

Talk that “fits the occasion” can be words to  encourage,  congratulate or express sympathy.  If you don’t know what to say, ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words; “For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us …” (Romans 8:26). 

And how can you “give grace to those who hear”? Accept apologies, congratulate others—even if you wanted the job. 

Take the high road-- be the first to say “good morning” to someone who is normally grumpy first thing. If someone seems to ignore you or says something that could be taken as an insult, instead of reacting by immediately becoming offended or angry, consider: Maybe the person is having a bad day. Maybe he or she didn’t mean the comment as it sounded (I know I’ve said things to a person and realized that the words did not come out at all as I’d intended!). Either ask the person what he or she meant or, in the famous words from the movie “Frozen”, “Let it go!”
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To request your FREE verse cards, e-mail shelly@shellyburke.net with your address, or call (402) 750-3496. Suggested donation, $6 to cover postage costs for verse cards for the whole year!

March issue and Scripture Memory Challenge!

Scripture Memory
Challenge verse for
March 2015

The March issue of the Nebraska Family Times has been mailed and is available at sponsor locations! Pick up your issue, or request a FREE sample issue, to read "A Theology for Fifty Shades of Grey", "From New Year's Resolutions to March Madness", "5 Ways to Help Keep Your Marriage Spark Alive", "The Reverse Lent Challenge", "Finding God's Purpose in a New Season" and many more articles that will "inspire, encourage and motivate you on your Christian walk." To subscribe to the Nebraska Family Times and receive devotions and encouragement in all areas of Christian life, click the "subscribe" button on the right side of this page.

Take part in the Scripture Memory Challenge and instill God's Word in your heart! Details below.

"Trust in the Lord"

Scripture Memory Challenge 

By Shelly Burke, Editor

The verse we’ve chosen for the February Scripture Memory Challenge is:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

In this verse God has given us a command, and a promise.

The command begins, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” I am thankful that I do not have to “lean on my own understanding”; so many times I desire something and only realize later that receiving it would not have been in the best interests of me or those around me.

In our own understanding we have just a miniscule snapshot of God’s plan. We are unable to see, in

our own understanding, what is in our future or the future of those around us. God however, is omniscient, all knowing. He knows how the events of yesterday, today and tomorrow will fit together for His good.

One of my favorite Bible narratives is that of the Old Testament Joseph (found in Genesis 37 and 39-46). In his own understanding Joseph probably could not comprehend why God would allow his brothers to sell him into slavery. But the Bible tells us that Joseph trusted in the Lord and remained faithful to Him through years of captivity; Joseph eventually became the highest ranking official in Egypt and from this position he was able to save his family and many others from starvation during a seven year famine.

Likewise, in our own understanding, we might not be able to comprehend the death of a loved one, the breakup of a marriage, financial hardships, children who stray, or a severe illness or disease. We might not comprehend His purpose this side of heaven, but this is when we “trust in the Lord” and remember His promise of Romans 8:28, which says, “for those who love God all things work together for good…”  

The next part of this passage commands, “in all your ways acknowledge Him”. My study Bible defines “acknowledge” as “Apply what you have learned from the Lord in everything you do.” How? First, thank Him for His blessings and all He has done for you.

Then seek His will through prayer and Bible study. Listen for His still small voice. Study His word. Attend church and Bible class. Apply what you have learned in everything you do—work, play, relationships, finances, parenting—and incorporate Him into every part of your life.

And then the promise: “And He will make straight your paths.” This is very reassuring to me;  some days I’m filled with “what if’s” and questions and doubts about the path I’m on in my life. I can’t see the future to know how the decisions I make today will impact my future, and sometimes I’m afraid to make decisions for fear they’ll be the “wrong” ones. I haven’t bowled in many years but when I read God’s promise in this verse, I pictured a bowling alley with the bumpers (long inflated tubes) in the gutters. Bumpers are often used when kids are bowling as they prevent the bowling balls from going in the gutter, instead bouncing them back onto the “straight path”, the middle of the bowling alley.  When I trust in the Lord and acknowledge Him, He will keep my path straight, “bouncing” me back on the right path when I threaten to go into the “gutter.”

To receive your FREE Scripture Memory Verse Cards, mail your request, with your name and address ($6 suggested donation to cover postage costs) to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601). 

February Issue and Scripture Memory Challenge!

The February issue of the Nebraska Family Times is on the stands of sponsors and has been mailed! I pray that the articles will "inspire, encourage and motivate you in your Christian walk!" Some of my favorite articles in this issue are "5 Things Every Daughter Needs to Hear from Her Dad", "10 Ways You Can Help Single Moms", "7 Important Steps to Simple and Generous Living." If you would like a FREE sample copy of the Nebraska Family Times, e-mail your request to shelly@shellyburke.net or call (402) 750-3496. 

One of the most important things you can do to strengthen your faith is to memorize scripture. If you would like to be part of the Scripture Memory Challenge and receive FREE verse cards every month (suggested donation $6 to cover postage expenses) e-mail your name and address to shelly@shellyburke.net or call (402) 750-3496, or mail your request to Nebraska Family Times, 209 27th St. Apt. #13, Columbus, NE 68601. See details below!